By

Amy Levin-Epstein /

MoneyWatch/ February 20, 2013, 12:29 PM

Women: How to get what you want at work

(MoneyWatch) Ever wonder how the female executives who shatter the glass ceiling do it? Selena Rezvani, leadership consultant and author of "Pushback: How Smart Women Ask--and Stand Up--for What They Want," says that self-advocacy is key. In her book, she shares interviews with female CEOs and COOs from mega-companies like Charles Schwab, Morgan Stanley and Bigelow Tea, and gets their take on this important topic. Here's some of what Rezvani uncovered:

MoneyWatch: What does "pushback" mean?

Selena Rezvani: In the context of the workplace, pushback represents the group of skills that allow us to take a stand, be firm, or advocate on our own behalf. It also encompasses our adeptness at advancing a cause, making a request, and persuading others of the merits of our view. We can use it to go after what we want (a raise, assignment or promotion), we can use it to defend what is ours (a budget, our team or a workplace initiative) and what we need (additional support staff or a more manageable workload).

MW: How important is pushing back?

SR: I asked female executives, "Assuming a woman's career success equals 100 percent, what percentage is accounted for by her effectiveness in negotiating and pushing back?" Averaging the twenty responses I heard, the answer was 60 percent; that's to say that 60 percent of a woman's career success hinges on her pushback skills -- holding her own, advocating her needs, and negotiating.

MW: What is the best advice you heard from these women?

SR: First, never capitulate too soon. While in a negotiation, get comfortable drawing out the conversation -- or even postponing it -- if need be rather than nodding your head in agreement or surrendering. Second, negotiate even if there's no precedent. For example, who cares, that no one else has ever asked for a phase-back return from maternity leave? Be the first. And finally, hear "no" as "not yet." Often the timing just wasn't right the first time so a second ask (timed better or under different circumstances) will do the trick.

MW: Do men naturally push back more?

SR: Yes. Men initiate negotiations 4 times more often than women do. This stems from the fact that men approach negotiations with more confidence than women and they set higher targets than women. While women may attempt to negotiate equitably -- so that the pie is split in half -- men tend to ask for a larger part of the pie.

MW: What do you consider the biggest myth about women in the workplace today?

SR: The biggest myth today is that men and women have achieved parity in the workplace. And yet, what hamstrings women at work today is far less overt than it used to be. Micro-inequities, those seemingly insignificant events that exclude women or lessen confidence in them, are far more rampant. Envision a department that's throwing a celebratory lunch to mark winning a new account. No one casts a suspicious eye when the young woman on the team is asked to order and fetch the food.

© 2013 CBS Interactive Inc.. All Rights Reserved.
6 Comments Add a Comment
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TruckerDesiree says:
Truck Drivers make $40K? That is incorrect, I am a truck driver and entry level drivers will make between 33K and 37K on a very inconsistant basis and be required to live in a truck (OTR)

The turnover rate is also 100% so staying in the biz long enough to find a $40K gig or better is unlikely.

Pushback Skills in trucking are a slippery slope. Lots of retaliation exists for anyone speaking out on this antiquated industry.


@TruckerDesiree
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denise14--2008 says:
Great interview! I agree with the key points by the author.

However, we are talking about a handful of interviews with top female leaders from highly successful companies who embrace diversity and have been promoting women to leadership levels throughout their organization. Implications: company cultures that have greater propensity to promote women leaders to top ranks. see following blog post about women in Schwab at www.manilla.com

I guarantee pushback would not be as welcomed or rewarded or successful in companies that still primarily keep women in lower ranks and have a culture that is diversity resistant. More of those companies exist which is why women still only occupy 14% of top positions in Fortune 500. I completely agree that women don't ask for what they want and are poorer negotiators compared to men. however pushback tactics will only work in small handful of corporations. There's a reason why most women finally leave corporations and start their own companies.
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Kccurtiswolf says:
In my experience, the article is spot-on. Yet there's a fine line between pushing back and being given a nasty label, so proceed with caution. Of course, don't push back just to be an obstacle but do it when you stand for something that is important. I've found that I earn respect when I have conviction based on sound judgement.
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hypnotoad72 says:
There's already equality - regardless of gender, ageism is rampant.
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mjvwsr says:
How about, Do a good job.
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hypnotoad72 replies:
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Most already do.

Next excuse, please, and stop watching pablum like Dr Fool and Judge Chicanery, etc... their one-liner, feel-good, do-nothing drivel doesn't help anyone... except themselves. (names changed to protect the guilty...)