5 ways to shut up a chronic interrupter

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(MoneyWatch) At work, being able to effectively communicate is crucial to your success and that of your entire team. But good communication is impossible if you're constantly being interrupted.

The first thing to understand in dealing with someone who repeatedly interrupts you or others is that it's probably not personal. Particularly if someone cuts everyone off, he or she just might have a lot to say. "A chronic interrupter is often someone who is super-smart and whose brain is working much faster than the other people in the room. They want to keep everything moving at a faster clip, so often they will interrupt to make that happen," says executive coach Beth Banks Cohn.

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Interrupters might also just be excited or eager to make their point. "Sometimes they have gotten enough information from the speaker and want to engage in debate or conversation by saying what they are thinking. Sometimes they [may even] think you are done talking -- so you consider it interrupting but they don't," says Banks Cohn.

Or they could just have bad manners. Whatever the cause, try these tips for getting a word in edgewise:

Ask to finish what you're saying. When you start to speak, make sure that the person knows you intend to finish. Workplace consultant Laura Rose suggests saying, "'There are a lot of different pieces to this explanation, so please bear with me. I want to tell you the entire story. Then I want us to wrap around and get your thoughts on specific details.'" That may stop the interrupter before he or she starts.

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Keep right on talking. Fight fire with fire, suggests Kevin Sensenig, vice president of learning and development with Dale Carnegie Training. But lower your voice first. "By lowering your voice slightly, keeping an even pace, and confidently continuing to make your statement, you can disarm the interrupter and cause them to either stop talking so they can hear you, or cause others to stop them, and ask you to repeat your statement." The key is to not stop. "Be ready to continue speaking until the other person stops, and move directly to your main point when they stop so that they hear the key part of your communication," says Sensenig.

Ask for input from others. If someone keeps interrupting in a group setting, ask others to weigh in. "Anyone, not only the boss, can ask for the input of others. One way to invite such feedback: 'We've heard a lot from Joe, what do others think about ....'" suggests Peter Smyth, co-author of "Reflective Leaders and High-Performance Organizations." This may naturally solve the issue.

Talk to the whole group. If you're the manager, consider first talking to your team without pointing fingers at an individual to avoid embarrassing that person. "Introduce a discussion of how we are communicating as a group and how this might be improved. Awareness is everything," says Smyth.

Speak to the person privately. If speaking to your team doesn't change anything, you'll have to meet with the person to indicate that there is a chronic issue. "Set up a private meeting with just the two of you. Tell them what you've observed and how long you've been observing it... [and] the effect it has on you (and others if appropriate)," says Banks Cohn. The person may not have realized what they've been doing. Finally, listen to their response. She adds: "If they give a reason... take it to heart and see if you can change your behavior as well."

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons user Richard McCoy

[tawster]

I'm a chronic interrupter, and I recognize it as a problem. Why am I like that? Three big reasons: (1) like you suggested, my mind races way ahead of the conversation, (2) I was always the kid in front of the class that was uber-confident and unafraid of speaking his mind, (3) I sometimes simply have issues knowing when to break into the conversation and when not to.

#1 is a "breath, relax, and let the conversation flow" issue.
#2 is a good thing... that can manifest as a bad thing... mostly a good thing.
#3 is a skill issue stemming from this behavior becoming habit over so many years.

Aside: One great thing about interrupters is their bad habit can be a boon if a discussion is log-jammed.

So, most folks that are interrupters, I think, struggle with the issue as I do. Call them out on it, but constructively. Work with them, not against them. A good manager/leader can really help them with this. And, in the end, the source of an issue springs from something actually beneficial to the group... just poorly manifested.

[jlgorman24]

Highly recommend a professional facilitator if interruptions consistently make meetings unproductive. I've seen some groups where it is the culture to interrupt to be heard. And, if the interrupter is the boss, forget about it. When the meeting requires input from everyone and the result is important - hire a facilitator!

[gman62100]

"A chronic interrupter is often someone who THINKS THEY ARE super-smart and whose brain is working much faster than the other people in the room.

There. Fixed it for you.

[Too Old For IT100]

I was accused of being an interrupter once, and I just kicked back and waited to be asked for input.

There were four of us managers, whom we will call Frat-Boy, Flame-Boy, Hot-Chick and myself. After a couple small projects got derailed, my manager's manager had us in the office, and wanted to know why it appeared that he hadn't considered input from IT (me). His answer? "I really don't want to hear from him ever."

...

Sometimes corporations are just like that.

[dsliesse]

A sentence toward the beginning of the article started, "Particularly if they tend to cut everyone off..." (or close to that). That's really the type of person the article is about. What should be pointed out, though, is that if it happens only to you, maybe that's a clue that YOU need to shut up now and then (as described in one or two of the other comments).

[cscott2131]

All I know (as a recovering interrupter) is when a person interupts they can not be listening. Interrupters have a point to prove or something to say and ARE going to say it. We are a selfish, ego - driven group! Some may even say we are selfish!

[DKlos]

The meeting facilitator has to stop this in the bud. Tell people to be good listeners before they spout off. Then tell them privately they must learn to play well with others.

[ycdbsoya]

I believe this author is too kind to the "word terrorist."

When the chronic interrupter is an adult, s/he is trying to quash your "inferior" views and show you that his "smarter, more perspicacious, more trenchant, quicker-to-the-bottom-line-than you" views are the only sane views that should be aired.

He WANTS you to think that you're too slow, off-point, and don't see the obvious. You are supposed to submit, shut up and do as you're told.

If it's a kid, he just hasn't learned yet that other people exist or have any other function on Earth than to satisfy his wishes. He's practicing to be a word-terrorist. Just give him a few years.

[ps1986]

I'm sorry, but there are some people who just won't let you get a word in edgewise! Just when you think they have completed their thought, they keep going with a "But....", and then off they go again. After several minutes of this, I HAVE to interrupt. Some of us do have manners and resist the urge to interrupt, but good grief, there may be someone else in the group who would like to say something.

[kbbpll]

Sorry, but none of these strategies actually work. They're smarter than you are, they have better ideas than you do, and they will never ever shut up.