Self-importance is self-destructive

iStockphoto

(MoneyWatch) COMMENTARY I can make it rain just by washing my car, weeding, or hand-watering the plants that line my driveway. This weekend, I did all three. Monday, it rained. Not just a drizzle, either -- four hours of driving rain. Just so you know, it doesn't rain in California in June. Ever.

No, I don't really think I'm a rainmaker. I'm not a lunatic. But if I said I never, ever -- not even a little -- believe that the things I do or desire can somehow affect the weather, the stock market, a poker hand, or whether the Yankees win or lose, I'd be lying.

We all have our own quirky little superstitions, obsessions, compulsions and all that. But as intelligent, logical, clear-thinking adults living in a modern world, we all know better, right? Well, not exactly.

CEOs are just like you -- without all the whining
10 big mistakes successful leaders make
10 signs you're in denial

It's impressive how delusional people can be, and about matters of great import. Now, I'm not just talking about those who believe that if it's on the Internet, then it must be true. Or the millions of people who believe in ridiculous fads like colon cleansing, male enhancement, or man-made global warming.

I'm talking about people who run companies and nations.

You see, perhaps the most unfortunate side effect of business or political success is that it makes people feel self-important. Like what they say or do can literally change the laws of physics, probability, or supply and demand. 

I once knew a CEO -- in a big public company, mind you -- who was absolutely convinced that one of the biggest and most famous companies in the world was out to crush us. To deal with this menace, he created a company-wide program to ensure this phantom "crush" campaign failed. It might've worked, too -- if the threat had been real.

There also once was a guy who thought that if he could just keep buying bigger and bigger companies and get Wall Street to bless these stratospheric acquisitions, nobody would notice he didn't have a clue how to make money or run a telecommunications giant. Former WorldCom CEO Bernie Ebbers is now serving 25 years in federal prison.

Don't even get me started on bankers, politicians, federal regulators, and the financial bubbles and crises they create. I don't think they're evil people. They just don't live in the same reality you and I live in, where personal integrity matters and actions have consequences.

Here's the thing. There's plenty written about how power corrupts leaders. I've written about how success changes executives. Power and success gives people superhuman egos that write checks their average human brains can't cash. And while that's all well and good to know, I'm not sure knowing it changes all that much. That is, unless you're really paying attention.

If you're really on the ball, you can easily spot that kind of self-important thinking in others. If you do, run the other way. Because sooner or later, one of two things will happen. Either they'll self-destruct and take everyone else down with them, or they'll do fine for themselves, at the expense of others. Either way, you'll lose by association.

What if you think that self-important person might be you? If you're a relatively grounded person, meaning you know you're just a flesh and blood human with strengths and weaknesses like the rest of us, then you're probably in little danger of success or power going to your head.

If, on the other hand, you think you're special, unique, more important than you really are, that the sun rises in the morning just for you, then keep one thing in mind.

Really believing in yourself can indeed be a powerful and motivating force, a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. But that only works until you're in over your head. That's when self-importance becomes a self-destructive force. Unfortunately, if you're not very self-aware, then you'll probably never know when you've reached that point.

[KristenLambTX]

This is one of the reasons I like to seek out people who disagree with me. It's comfortable to surround ourselves with people who tell us we are awesome, but the comfort zone is death. My favorite line from Proverbs is, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." It is easy to fall victim to the ego. It's why we should choose our inner circle carefully and always look for critical feedback. It stings and sometimes sucks, but like exercise, it is necessary for health.

[dvd3762]

Having been President of a company, I worked very hard to avoid losing myself before we closed it in The Tsunami of the economic collapse, just a few comments. Not all companies have these problems but 1) Yes, I believe there is what I call The SocioPath to success, i.e. some companies are run by ego-bound individuals (like myself at one point), and perhaps even a few actual sociopaths. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy they are slated for leadership by virtue of our hero worship culture, i.e. we expect them to be something almost inhuman, and in so doing, create Inhumans because of the pressure. 2) After you've been crowned a "leader", sycophants surround like sharks and feed that ego, further drowning you in your own hero story, or, manipulating. Most organizations reward this behavior because the command and control authority it provides the top makes stuff happen, i.e. profit. It's very difficult to avoid when our schools train children not to think from age 6, i.e. it should be this way 3) Organizations "reflect upward" what they need you to be, and you must mirror back to the people what they need, or there is no one to lead. 4) As you get less reliable information because of power plays, people are in more fear, you set up a Do Loop. No CEO or President should stay in that position for more than a few years, and most good companies continuously change over those people because of burnout and Do Loop. 5) We can blame Presidents and CEO's all we want, but it takes very strong people of character and real support to survive these positions intact. My experience is no matter what you do to offset it, the top can be incredibly brutal, lonely, isolated, and most want to blame and get a piece of you, almost putting one into an ego-bound state for psychological protection. Its almost like PTSD. Folks that don't believe this stuff are simply in denial. If you don't believe it, try it on some time and see how it goes. Good Luck.