How to handle sexual misconduct at work

Flickr user Victor1558

(MoneyWatch) Dear Evil HR Lady,

I am an HR manager with a multinational corporation. Yesterday I received information about two employees having sex in the bathroom. Several staff members observed them, and apparently this is not the first episode -- just the first time I've been informed. At what point do we terminate them?

I'm thinking termination should have occurred as soon as their clothing was back on (I'd hate to make anyone walk out to their car in the nude.)

Where is the employees manager (managers?) in this mess? And why did we get to the point where a couple can engage in sexual activity in the bathroom more than once and have people fretting over if they should be fired? Somehow we've gotten into this, "Oh no! It's about sex! I better not say anything lest I be thought a prude/bigot/whatever!" attitude.

Well, I'm fine with people labeling me whatever they want to because here is my rule: If you engage in any sexual activity on company property, you will be terminated. Not, we'll review the situation, see if there was a good reason for your actions and put a note in your file. Terminated.

Such conduct falls under "gross misconduct" in my book because it is "an objectionable action that is willful and cannot be described as a mistake or an act of negligence." No one accidentally has sex in the bathroom. It is inappropriate. It demonstrates that the participants lack any sense of propriety. And if they are willing to get it on at work in a publicly accessible location, they are clearly dumb as rocks.

But what if one (or both!) of them are star performers at work? Let me ask you this question: If they had both been killed in a car crash on the way to the office this morning, would the company have to shut down? If the answer to that question is no, then they are not big enough stars to be saved from termination.

The only area where I would exercise caution is if the relationship is not an equal one. That is, does it involve a senior VP and an accounts-payable clerk? Then I would investigate if the sexual activity was consensual or if the VP had bullied the clerk into it. Peers? Out the door.

Now, if this was about two coworkers dating or a boss dating a subordinate and they were engaging in sexual activity outside of work, it would be a different answer. The answer there is: What is your policy on this matter? What? You don't have one? You should.

At minimum, relationships between managers and their direct reports (or their direct reports' direct reports) should be banned. Some companies ban relationships between employees, period. Some employers only ban dating within a worker's department. I don't really have a strong opinion on that. But you must have a policy and enforce it. If dating is acceptable, then you ignore such relationships. If dating is prohibited, then you mete out the consequences detailed in your policy.

Yet, just as you don't need a policy that says, "spreading tuna fish all over the hallway will result in termination!" you don't need a policy that says, "having sex in the bathroom will result in termination." Some things are just off limits, and this is one of them.

Have a workplace dilemma? Send your questions to [e-mail].

Image courtesy of Flickr user Victor1558

[FormerUSMCSergeant]

I really pity those so insept at meeting people that they pursue co-workers.

Pitiful.

[werntrouble]

Sex in the workplace is incredibly disruptive and certainly not something the employees should be getting paid to do. Basically, take a lunch break or have fun after work, but not AT work. It's just not appropriate behavior. Besides, office romances seldom work out and can cause considerable problems ranging from favoritism to revenge!

[rmm26a]

The chick who wrote this article has probably never had sex in her entire life...haha

[tmittelstaed]

Uh, Flo the Progressive Girl is regarded by a lot of people as a sex object - nerdy-looking girls are a turn on for a lot of guys.

In any case, Suzanne disclosed in April that she's married with 2 kids.

[saturn05]

Sex on the job...fired! It is not appropriate work activity and the employers should have the right to fire someone for it. If it is between a boss and the employee, sexual harassment should be considered.

[cozzicon]

I think sex in the work place would really make work a lot more fun, and far more relaxing.

Still don't understand the objection to normal human behavior. No one gets fired for flatulence. And that is far more offensive. And even carries a feeling of relief.

[KPeters_from_UK]

Sometimes flatulence can't be helped but sex in the workplace can be controlled. What happened to self-control? For decades both genders have been able to sexually control themselves why is it suddenly so difficult to do so now?

[displeased2]

Try walking into a board meeting and flatulencing up a storm and see what happens to you.

[john-27]

But people are getting dumber so it'll probably happen more and more. They probably don't have the intellect to work instead.

[realtimecoffee]

It just depends on who the boss is. They have the right sure, but most bosses I've know would just pull a John Denver, and say "Wash your hands before going back to work."

[billz0251]

Why should they..Bill Clinton wasn't fired for it. He was re-elected.

[WakeUpPeople001]

Fire them!!!

I live in a former Communist country. During "the worker's paradise", people frequently "boinked" on the job because they didn't care about their work and they were not held accountable for their work.

In Capitalism, if the office knows that a couple was boinking in the restroom (what a disgusting place, by the way), it will have a horrible effect upon morale.

Again, fire them!!!

[WakeUpPeople001]

Please allow me to qualify.

Give them a written reprimand, and place it in their personnel files.

Three written reprimands--Adios!

[realtimecoffee]

So you can catch them and they still get one more boink! Nice. Breakup sex is the best.

[KansasCity-2012]

Companies that don't fire workers for this type of conduct wont get any business, contracts, or services from me or my company.

I have a duty to my employees and their families to keep work areas safe and free of behavior causing social dilemmas or destruction of working or business relationships.

[displeased2]

But during lunch break is fine, right?