How you can better influence people

Tony Robbins (File) / Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

(MoneyWatch) COMMENTARY I've always been fascinated by FBI profilers. Those are the folks who get inside the heads of criminals to try to figure out why they do what they do. There is a great deal of power that comes from being able to quickly analyze someone to determine what they are all about, and there are numerous tools and techniques to help you analyze someone. Popular ones include the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and DISC Assessment, where you try to classify someone's personality. Then there are numerous books on interpreting body language, analyzing eye movement, and even decoding handwriting.

The most accurate method I've discovered for assessing what drives another person is based on "human needs psychology," a theory of human behavior developed by Tony Robbins. Yes, that Tony Robbins -- the one who has directly impacted more than 50 million people through his books, tools, and live events (watch Oprah Winfrey do a firewalk at a Tony Robbins event).

Human needs psychology provides an answer to the elusive question, "Why do human beings do the things they do?" The theory says that there are six fundamental needs that everyone has in common (Every person includes your mother-in-law, President Obama, terrorists, you, and everyone else.) And here's the best part -- because we all share these same needs, once you can decipher which top two needs someone values more than the others, it instantly gives you an edge in knowing what drives them and how to influence them. 

Here are what Robbins's theory postulates as the six human needs:

1. Certainty. The need for stability, security, comfort, and to feel confident you can avoid pain and gain pleasure.

2. Uncertainty/variety. The need for change, new stimuli, and for the unknown.

3. Significance. The need to feel important, special, unique, or needed.

4. Love/connection. The need to belong and to feel closeness with someone or something.

5. Growth. The need to expand, learn, and grow.

6. Contribution. The need to give beyond oneself and to support others.

Do you think you should communicate differently with someone whose No. 1 need is "certainty" than if his or her top need is "significance?" If your goal is to build rapport, nail that interview, or get funding for your venture, I sure hope so.

The question becomes, "How can you discover someone's top needs?" To answer that, we go to Mark Peysha, CEO of Robbins-Madanes Coach Training, an online company that teaches leaders, therapists, and others how to quickly and efficiently create lasting change with their clients or employees. The training is based on a framework created by Robbins and Cloe Madanes, a renowned teacher, one of the originators, of the strategic approach to family therapy. 

According to Mark, there are three basic ways to understand another person's top needs:

1. Ask them. This is obviously the most straightforward approach. People are fascinated by the concept of the six human needs, and they love an opportunity to talk about what matters most to them and how they perceive what's important.

2. Observe what they focus on. Is the person focused on safety and comfort, or are they more driven by the need to stand out? Do they seem to crave connection, or do they crave variety and entertainment? Listen to what they communicate and watch for what they value. You can learn a lot by the process of elimination.

3. Contextual. It's best to observe someone in more than one environment. When people go into certain situations, you can learn a great deal from how they respond -- their top needs will often rise to the surface.

So how can you use human needs psychology? Get practice profiling people you already know. Look at their communication and behavior through the lens of these six needs. Ask yourself which needs are most important to this person. Get practice looking for and identifying needs in others so it becomes a habit and so you can get the edge in knowing what drives them and how to influence them.

[mattvcov]

Tony Robbins is an excellent facilitator. I agree with the previous comments that his ideas aren't necessarily new; however, he manages to package (or should I say re-package) them well and makes them accessible to a wider audience. If this is a good or bad thing, we all have to decide for ourselves.

I have actually attended a Tony Robbins event and yes, I walked over those coals as well, and can attest to the awesome feeling you have once you make it to the other side of those coals with your feet still intact. Very little can compare to that.

To the title of this article "How you can better influence people": There are many ways to influence people, all you have to do is look around you, everybody is doing it and it is a multi-billion dollar industry. Unfortunately not all attempts to influence are as well intended as Tony Robbins'. On a practical, day-today basis, I have found DISC Assessment to fully suffice (for more info on these I found a cool new site with updated stuff http://www.8factors.com/disc-assessment-101/) but Myers-Briggs and other concepts will work as well.

Overall, to influence people you need to address their emotional state, as that is what most people will base most of their decisions on, even the ones that claim to be purely rational. But before you can address someone's emotional state, that person has to really listen to you, and that is where DISC comes into play, opening a compelling line of communication.

[profblong]

Well said, mattvcov. There are several excellent needs assessment tools on the market. DISC is one of my favorites, along with those instruments developed by Elias Porter (SDI) and--more recently-- Marcus Buckingham. And of course they are all off-spring of the venerable MBTI. There is truly a wealth of resources available these days that help us tune-in more empathically to what drives people's behavior, and what is most rewarding to them in terms of their individual needs fulfillment.

But-- if I may inflict a bit more punishment on an already well-flogged subject-- no one in this discussion, including Robert, is saying anyone's ideas are "new." This is precisely why I find it so puzzling and ironic that Robert (while being quick to agree that Robbins' well-articulated set of human needs is NOT essentially original) specifically states that Robbins "developed" the notion of "human needs psychology." We've been circling this point all week, with no simple retraction of that single false statement seemingly forthcoming. As a retired acedemic who is also steeped in business world experience, being careful to not take--or give-- credit where it is not due still matters.. . even if there is no one individual primary source to cite.

[kcarleton100]

I concur that these ideas are not new, being familiar with all of the educational/organiztional psychology authorities mentioned. Tony Robbins is not a rocket scientist, however he does nicely summarize tips from social science. In any case, this post is a good little reminder that if we help others get what they need, then they will help us get what we need. I believe that was the point - something we all forget regularly getting caught up in daily activities much of which are self-absorbed. Prime example, job applicants who start every sentence with "I" not referring to what they know about and can do for the company.

[profblong]

Robert-- You can tapdance around the issue all you want (and I'm sure you enjoy doing so), but the truth is Tony Robbins did NOT "develop" the theory of human behavior known as "human needs psychology," as you so clearly give him credit for in this column. It's preposterous for you to insist that he's contributed anything to that field except re-packaging and re-labeling (however more artfully and attractively) the vast body of behavioral theory built by long-revered human and industrial psychologists such as Maslow, McGregor, Herzberg, and others since them. (Others who are much quicker to attribute their seminal ideas to their predecesors than you or Tony are.) I mean really. You make yourself look ridiculous to anyone who's taken a freshman psychology course or a basic class in business management.

[Robert Pagliarini]

I'm not sure it makes sense to debate the "source" of an idea. Maslow and others stood on the shoulders of those before them. In my humble opinion, Tony has made huge advancements in the understanding of human needs and has also packaged it in a way that it makes sense and is highly practical. I studied Maslow 20 years ago and have not once since then used his hierarchy of needs in a practical setting. If you have, then that's fantastic. I can tell you that I've used Tony's needs analysis dozens of times just in the last month. Time and time again companies will improve upon already existing products (think what Apple has done). This happens all the time. That's it's for now. My feet are getting tired. Also, maybe I should return my master's degree in psychology...

[iyeress]

Being familiar with Hay Group and David Mcclelland's work in the past,and having read the 6 needs which have been discussed in this article, i'd urge people interested in the topic to check out Motives and Values profiling. the 6 needs, and most other theories on needs that i have come across all seem to branch out from the need for Power (impacting and influencing others), Affiliation (need to be liked by others, need for the company of others etc) and Achievement (need to do ones work well, need for perfection, need to achieve). Each one of us has these three, deep seated motives, to varying degree.
(The need for stability is an interesting one- it will not fit into the 3 needs mentioned- since, imho, one will need to understand where the need for stability arises from- is it so one can achieve, is it because it will allow one to better impact others, or because others around you are stable and you will like to be as well to fit in.)

For those interested in the subject of understanding yourself and others, Whats also interesting is motives are different from our values - or what we have been brought up to believe. I for example have been brought up to believe in the importance of hard work and that my work should speak for itself, however, my most prominent motive is the need to impact and influence others, which in certain situations tends to create private confusion and stress. I believe this stuff, when understood, is far more powerful to understand yourself and others, over the 6 needs theory propounded by Tony Robbins since there seems to be no clear way of knowing how to go about understanding which two needs truly dominate the minds of someone- one may believe something intellectually but may be something else completely in reality (the deep seated stuff). (There is many lives worth of research in motives, values profiling, and valid ways of measuring which motives and values you have)

Robert might find that he is energised by impacting and influencing others, considering the name of the article:) So also (possibly!) are readers (including myself) who were drawn to the link because they would like to learn how to influence others. Just an FYI: I am not an employee or client of HG or Mcclelland's company and have no vested interests in propounding the above.

[Robert Pagliarini]

Great comment iyeress! I will definitely look into the resources you posted...

[iyeress]

Being familiar with Hay Group and David Mcclelland's work in the past,and having read the 6 needs which have been discussed in this article, i'd urge people interested in the topic to check out Motives and Values profiling. the 6 needs, and most other theories on needs that i have come across all seem to branch out from the need for Power (impacting and influencing others), Affiliation (need to be liked by others, need for the company of others etc) and Achievement (need to do ones work well, need for perfection, need to achieve). Each one of us has these three, deep seated motives, to varying degree.
(The need for stability is an interesting one- it will not fit into the 3 needs mentioned- since, imho, one will need to understand where the need for stability arises from- is it so one can achieve, is it because it will allow one to better impact others, or because others around you are stable and you will like to be as well to fit in.)

For those interested in the subject of understanding yourself and others, Whats also interesting is motives are different from our values - or what we have been brought up to believe. I for example have been brought up to believe in the importance of hard work and that my work should speak for itself, however, my most prominent motive is the need to impact and influence others, which in certain situations tends to create private confusion and stress. I believe this stuff, when understood, is far more powerful to understand yourself and others, over the 6 needs theory propounded by Tony Robbins since there seems to be no clear way of knowing how to go about understanding which two needs truly dominate the minds of someone- one may believe something intellectually but may be something else completely in reality (the deep seated stuff). (There is many lives worth of research in motives, values profiling, and valid ways of measuring which motives and values you have)

Robert might find that he is energised by impacting and influencing others, considering the name of the article:) So also (possibly!) are readers (including myself) who were drawn to the link because they would like to learn how to influence others. Just an FYI: I am not an employee or client of HG or Mcclelland's company and have no vested interests in propounding the above.

[skrevitz]

It actually pissed me off that he thinks that he can totally take something that is already been done and redue it! Ugh! I used think that he an ok kind of guy, but this really takes the CAKE!!
REALLY!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! The real question here is how stupid does HE think we are, and CBS REALLY!! Get better fact checkers!

[Robert Pagliarini]

Thanks for your comments. I'm quite familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. And you are definitely right in that ere is certainly some overlap, I think there are also significant differences. Maslow's Needs weren't really needs. He called them a Hierarchy because he believed you needed to achieve them in order--that we weren't able to achieve higher levels unless we had already secured the lower levels. His view was that very few of us actually reach the peak of self-actualization. In any case, thanks for stopping by...

[solorister]

Did you read the attickle and understand it ,it is true . But am constanlty interfered by law , as they tell persons not to like me ,I have kind of evaluated what kind of people some police are and they hate that and they have done everything to interfere with my doctor visit and use there power , for others not to like me ,they do not likw persons that can see though them .Am disable from spine disorder and they do not care , they actuly tell doctors to make false ducomentation to my disability , sense my work injury in 97 , still ongoing .Telling my family not to comunicate with me , as police also have used cell phone to track where I am or what doctor I am going to see .Learn to use those .

[skrevitz]

As much as I enjoy Tony Robbins,...Really restating Mazlow's Hierachy of Needs and making them your own words in paraphrasing and just changing what they are!!!!!!!!!REALLY!!! I gues he is targeitng uneducated people!!

[bettyguzzi]

This article is marketed as "3 Wickedly Effective Secrets of Successful Influencers". Either the link is mapped incorrectly, or CBS has fallen to new levels of spin depravity. I want my BNet back!

[fallingUp100]

I agree, BNet had such better articles and organization. CBS should have really used what they had, instead it feels like they just shut it down.

[hkwhelan]

I've long been a big fan of Tony Robbins. I remember reading his book, Awaken the Giant Within, too many years ago and finding that incredibly helpful in my career and personally.
I love the way you articulate Tony's take on our 6 needs and how we can authentically influence using them. Here's a take on 3 more ways to do that in the workplace: http://wp.me/p1irwj-wL