10 companies with insanely bad marketing

COMMENTARY David Packard, the iconic cofounder of HP (HPQ), once said, "Marketing is too important to be left to the marketing department."

Besides being true, Packard's insightful statement points out the greatest challenge of marketers everywhere. Everybody has an opinion, everybody wants to have a say and everybody thinks their "focus group of one" is more important than the actual target audience.

Maybe that's why there's so much bad marketing out there. There's no accountability because David Packard let all the marketers off the hook. Nah, I'm not buying that either.

Speaking of marketing screw-ups, these 10 companies and campaigns are clear standouts, at least from my focus group of one. If lousy marketing were a crime, they'd all be indicted, for sure:

Motorola Droid Razr Maxx. Over the years, Motorola (MMI) has had some of the worst marketing on the planet. I mean, who taught these people about branding? They're always giving products more names than anyone can remember. Besides having four names, this phone is even dual branded with Verizon and has 4GS stamped in big letters on the back. Maybe they should have called it the Motorola Verizon Droid Razr Maxx 4GS. Rolls right off the tongue, just like iPhone.

Quiznos. At a time when Subway has grown to become the largest global restaurant chain and shares of McDonalds (MCD) and Yum! Brands (YUM) are trading near all time highs, Quiznos somehow managed the steepest decline of any major fast-food chain, getting sued by thousands of franchisees, and narrowly avoiding bankruptcy, at least for now. One of the main reasons is bad marketing, including an ad campaign that featured horribly disfigured, annoying, singing rodents called spongmonkeys, although my wife can't stop laughing when she sees them. Go figure.

Sony's synergy campaign. For the past two years, Sony's (SNE) been trying desperately to get Wall Street and consumers to believe there's synergy between its movie and consumer electronics businesses. For example, watching a Sony movie on a Sony TV streamed through a Sony PS3 somehow makes a difference in the user experience. It's all smoke and mirrors, but it is amusing to watch CEO Howard Stringer struggle to explain in this interview. And last year alone, Sony lost over $3 billion.

Sprint CEO Dan Hesse's TV ads. While Sprint (S) was falling apart at the seams, losing subscribers in droves and $3 billion or so a year, every year, CEO Dan Hesse was doing those amazing TV commercials promoting the virtues of "unlimited data service" that WSJ Deal Journal imagines "took 4,000 takes apiece" to film. So how are those unlimited service plans working out for you, Dan? Not too well, huh?

Research In Motion. Come on, do I even have to say it? Matsushita finally took the hint and changed its company name to Panasonic (PC). Nissan got rid of Datsun. It's only a matter of time for Daimler AG. RIM's (RIMM) own consumer ads say BlackBerry; they don't even mention the company name. Change it. But fix the products first. They're the biggest marketing crime, by far.

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[Stephen Isienyi]

Marketing-done-right is one in which the final result is simple, and natural yet catchy. Compare the "iphone" to "android razr max", or "Apple" to "Research in Motion". One may think of the former as trivial processes yet when tasked with creating one, s/he would find the task insurmountable.

Businesses that engage in lousy marketing practices could be suffering from the shower-crooner syndrome - or better yet, the half-education syndrome.

Those who sing in the shower believe that they have melodious voices, when that may not be the case at all. Those who are actively involved in a business process may think that they know the business so well to present it to consumers.

Half education is a sickness, and especially a crippling one for a business. This phenomenon happens quite a lot because many find it difficult to appreciate the glaring differences between sales and marketing - I have often find myself in the middle of debates between salespeople and marketing folks. I have backgrounds in both disciplines.

Until one acquires a deep understanding of the processes that belie marketing decisions, s/he should invest in a great marketing staff. This is called comparative advantage in economics. It works wonders!

[MarkAllenRoberts]

Great Post,
I have to agree that RIM and high tech are leaders in poor marketing. In most cases it's because they create products and throw them over the wall. Market leaders listen to and sense unresolved market problems and solve them completely. As of RIM, my guess is they will continue with "me too" products and follow as a market loser.

As of late I would add JC Penny to the list.

Mark Allen Roberts
www.nosmokeandmirrors.com

[Chinookman]

How about adding the National Enquirer type ads on this web page, of a girl with blood dripping from her mouth with black nails???

Yeah nothing says:'serious business here' like cheesy ads

[hoggenderby]

C - that's a news story with pictures the girl posted.

[symbolscape]

Steve, nothing is wrong with any of it. Congratulations on having a wider audience, a smaller staff, better ppc? CBS is not the first corporation to **** on early adopters in favor of the more profitable laggard majority. You're in business to make money, everyone gets that. And we also all know that journalism as a money making venture is barely hanging on by a thread, and if this change was necessary to keep something rather than nothing, so be it.

But your article was about marketing mistakes, not short term bottom line decision making. If brand marketing is about building a product that appeals to a specific audience, changing the face of that brand -- especially when the new face is an ugly downgrade -- is going to rub some in that original brand audience the wrong way. I count myself among that number. And I'm sure the decision makers who made this switch knew they would lose folks like me in the transition. I suppose the gamble was presuming that they would import enough of the existing BNET users to sustain the additional costs of merging the two teams?

Obviously, I'm speculating and I have no clue why BNET became a part of CBS News. Frankly, I don't care. And I don't have time to get into an in-depth probing and psychographic analysis of my media diet, but for whatever reason, BNET was a brand I liked and I would spend time on their website from time to time. Maybe it was the simpler web 2.0 layout and not the "horribly tacky" shotgun clusterfuck approach preferred by the current editorial team. Or maybe I simply liked the BNET green instead of the CBS blue? Who knows?

My point here is that UX matters. The brand matters. When it comes to brand marketing on the web, the brand aesthetic itself is a substantial part of the product -- and seemingly trivial elements like the layout and the colors are, like it or not, integral parts of the brand.

Let's be serious though, when I heard BNET was becoming a part of CBSNews, it didn't ruin my day. I thought it was lame, yet another example of institutional blindness in American corporate leadership, but come on -- this wasn't the invention of the subprime mortgage. On the scale of corporate fecklessness, this makes a small mark, but in a golden age of abounding corporate feckless, no worries, nobody noticed. Isn't this the cultural subtext you were appealing to in your piece?

But Steve, it does bother me that you're puzzled by this comment string. Because my big picture concern is the one I stated earlier about the demise of journalism. This is a crisis that we have no clue how to stop. And the fact that the guy who writes the article about bad branding doesn't appreciate why his publication's identity confusion was a prime example of bad branding gives me no faith that we're anywhere close to figuring out a way to deal with this problem. Or maybe you totally get it but you have a job to keep and nobody is going to hate you for taking one for the team and standing up for the move. But I know for sure that the executive decision to subsume BNET into CBS News, while it might have made sense from a short term business perspective, is a guarantee that we're moving closer to the day that journalism and entertainment are indistinguishable.

In media res, since this is CBS News we're talking about here, the fact that I get to watch Charlie Rose pretend to do serious journalism under the guise of an old pose made famous by Ed Murrow only makes me fear that day may have already arrived.

[stobak2]

Hmm. By that logic, I guess ABC can't have serious news with Diane Sawyer, The Bachelor and Cougar Town all on the same network.

[JeffP7]

symbolscape, I agree with you on the format of the CBS website vs the old BNET site. I hate this layout. However, thankfully Geoffrey James left, so I'll bear with it as long as I don't have to see his name on an article. Still, Tobak, Michael Hess, Suzanne Lucas, and Jeff Haden are still here.

[cedaly1968]

How about Bank Of America advertising how cool the new ATM's are that scan your check and print it on your receipt. Yeah, cool, Chase has been advertising it for 2 years. Or how about Bank of America talking about how you can transfer money on-line. Really? Holy cow, when did that Internet thing happen? And you missed one industry in particular - car dealerships. Do ANY of them have ads that aren't cheesy stupid?

[JeffP7]

You should check out the Trunk Monkey ads by The Suburban Auto Group. They are pretty funny for a car dealership...

[1atpeacesoon]

Steve, I liked you article and agree save 1. What do you have against Sprint? Why didn't you like those Dan Hesse commercials? I think all to often people don't feel in touch with the big, cold, ivory tower companies. Seeing Dan and his straightforward approach was fresh and he asked for our feedback. I liked that.

IF that's not enough... consider something must have worked. They have the BEST customer service and satisfaction ratings in the wireless industry now! Seriously... a LOT has changed in the past 2 years. THAT is how 'that's working for ya...'

[Marc Jellinek]

Saw this at the local train station as a billboard ad for BBC America: "Your TV Is Now Under British Rule".

I looked at the billboard. I looked at the 500 Indians on the platform. I looked back at the billboard. I shook my head.

[Shadeburst]

The local Vodafone affiliate's corporate color was a Facebook-like blue. Their chief competitor's color was red. For some mystical reason Vodafone decided to go red and flighted a campaign on nationwide TV explaining why red was a good color. I can only guess that the CEO had a mistress who demanded he give her ideas a shot or he wasn't going to get any.

[Media_Mark]

Colorado First Bank- who knows WHAT they are saying or what the brand is? Seriously, check them out (Soda Thief? Never work again, robot teller, Guy get **** bus bus, Starbucks?) https://www.efirstbank.com/about-firstbank/who-we-are.htm#advertising

[russbakr]

You forgot NASA !! Not a business but meh ..