10 words never to say at the office

(Credit: Flickr user tew)

If you are just proactive and think outside the box, we can run this mission-critical project, bringing to the table the high-level learnings and actionable items we plucked like low hanging fruit after the elevator pitch that dictated our next steps.

OK, that hurt to write. I'm sure it hurt to read. But I bet you've heard several of those phrases in the past few days. (And if you haven't, I'm guessing you don't work in corporate America.)

What corporate jargon are you tired of? Career Builder asked 5000 workers what corporate buzzwords they'd like to see off the table. Here are the top (or bottom!) phrases that should be banished from the planet:

Outside the box (31%)
Low-hanging fruit (24%)
Synergy (23%)
Loop me in (22%)
Best of breed (19%)
Incentivize (19%)
Mission-critical (19 %)
Bring to the table (18%)
Value-add (17%)

Elevator pitch (16%)

One that didn't make the list but that drives me up the wall is "ask" as in "I have an ask for you." People, the word is "request." I have a request for you, and I need to ask you a question.

I'm not sure why these types of phrases get picked up and thrown around at corporate meetings. Some people think they originate in dark corners of human-resources departments, which makes sense because too many of us work harder at trying to sound smart than at actually being smart.

Somehow we got the idea that the right phrase will make our ideas sound better. And perhaps they do -- if you've got a boss who babbles about thinking outside the box, it makes sense to present your ideas as ones not confined within cardboard. Which leads me to a question? What's so darn bad about the box? Boxes are good. You can carry a lot more inside a box than outside. Things that fit inside a box are more easily mass produced than unique things anyway, and mass production can lead to profit. Seems to me that thinking within the box snags you some low hanging fruit.

Ahem, sorry. What words or phrases drive you up the wall?

[twenty99]

This is more of an everyday one than a business one, but the saying that drives me crazy is "I could care less". If you COULD care less about something, that means you currently care about it, and it would be possible for you to care less than you currently do. If you COULDN'T care less, that means you currently have absolutely no level of caring, and it would be impossible for you to care less than you do now. People should be saying "I couldn't care less".

I would say 90% of people misuse this, yet it should be so obvious that it is completely wrong.

[bsc_gdk]

The frequency with which I've heard most of these at any given place of employment is inversely proportional to the degree of satisfaction I've experienced there. The more linguistic pepper spray is blown around in the office, the harder it is to function, even if you are following orders.

[sgilman85]

I hate the phrase, "I'm aligned with this". Just say, " I agree". You sound like an ass!

[K. Derderian]

I can't stand "where we're at." Ending a sentence with a preposition is bad enough but this overused expression is also redundant. "Where we are" suffices.

Don't forget all your stakeholders are entitled to the value add that is part of your culture.

Most of this jargon is used in an attempt to sound important in a meeting, which is usually where useless people attempt to justify their employment, instead of getting something done, such as making or selling something.

"Reach Out To" as in I reached out to Bill on that, I guss that's short for I called him.

While on the subject, "How Come" seems to be short for "Why"

"Methodology" is the study of methods, NOT the method used for something. You don't use a "methodology", you use a METHOD.

[StargazySkye]

I have always hated "no brainer" and I still hear it. I always used to hate that fetish about replacing problem with issue or some other euphemism. Sometimes what you have is a problem.

[gacanty]

I don't mind the use of these terms as I much as I don't like the misuse of them. Let's face it, we grow tired of them when everybody in the office starts using (and ultimately misusing) them simply to sound cool.

I first heard "low-hanging fruit" about fifteen years ago. I liked it then because it provided such a great visual image of a tree full of opportunities, some of which were easier than others to pick. I still like the term, but then again I don't hear it used incessantly. I guess others aren't so lucky.

Remember when "Human Resources" was called "Personnel"?

[lynjones13]

Remember when "Employee Relations" was called "Human Resources"??

[rmazin]

Ramping up and onboarding, among many others already mentioned, make my personal avoid list.