5 things NEVER to ask your boss

Like snowflakes, every boss you have will be different from the one before and the one after. And the way you converse with each will naturally have to be adjusted.

"For example, some bosses never want to hear criticism, while others will end up letting you go if you if you don't challenge them enough. Some bosses never want to hear about your personal life, while others don't feel comfortable unless their direct reports are 'friends,'" says Charles Purdy, senior editor at Monster.com.

But no matter what your relationship is like, there are some things you should never, ever say to your superior. Here are 5 to remember:

"My daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies. Would you like to buy some?"

Your boss probably loves Thin Mints just as much as you do. That doesn't mean he should be solicited as a potential customer for your pint-sized salesman, says HR consultant Tiffani Murray, author of Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today's Professional Stuck in a Rut. "Perhaps they will think that the employee will 'return the favor' by working harder, staying late or picking up the slack when needed in exchange for the purchase of that box of Thin Mints," says Murray. Of course, if your boss politely refuses, you might resent it -- or feel embarrassed for asking.

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"I think so-and-so is out to get me. Don't you?"

Most personality conflicts need to be handled by the individuals involved. "Your boss doesn't want to be a playground monitor," says Purdy. If the conflict is affecting aspects of a project, bring those specific issues to your boss, instead of a vague suspicion that someone wants to make you look bad. At best, it'll make you look insecure. At worst, you'll look paranoid.

"Is it okay if I take a personal day because my grandmother died?"

If this is not true, don't say it. Elaborate sick day excuses are a big risk in the world of Twitter and Facebook, says Purdy: "It's more and more dangerous, in our increasingly connected world, to 'play hooky' from work by telling your boss you're sick or that you have a funeral to attend. If you are at all social-networked, it's too easy to find out the truth."

"Does it really matter if this gets done?"

If you ask if you're being given busy work, you're questioning the judgement of your boss. "A better question is 'Where should this fall on my list of priorities?' In this way, if it is less important the boss will convey that as he or she ranks your to-do list," says Murray.

"If you don't _____, I'll quit. Understand?"

Ultimatums don't work well for many relationships, whether it be a marriage or a work partnership. "You can lay out what you need to your boss, but ultimatums leave out the room for compromise. Even if you get what you asked for, you'll be seen as an untrustworthy employee from now on," says Purdy. Leave the "Q-word" out of the conversation--unless you truly are ready to walk.

[MarilynC100]

I have to agree with many of the respondents that this is a pretty lame 'article,' not up to the standards of the former BNET, in my opinion.

[OctoSeiten]

Another thing that you shouldn't say is: "I don't have time for this"

or "I'm not paid enough for this"
or "I don't have to take this"

[bettyguzzi]

Third time in three weeks that a link in one of CBS's emails has linked to the wrong article. Is anyone at CBS reading these comments?

[jsargent100]

Here's another..."that's illegal isn't it?"

[jsargent100]

How about...in the UK "actually I don't really like football" or if you are in the USA "golf's for weiners anyway".

[tankaichang]

"Does it really matter if this gets done?"

actually sometimes needs to be asked, albeit in a less direct way - especially to those bosses who don't really know what they themselves really want and ask their employees to do everything under the sun just to cover their own a$$e$.

I have received many tasks that "doesn't matter if it doesn't get done". You know this when, after busting yourself to get it done, your boss never looks at it. Why? Coz it doesn't matter if it doesn't get done, that's why.

A nicer way to ask this question is to ask: What's the benefit of getting it done? or What's our main objective in doing this?
If it's one of those useless task, more often than not your boss will be going (if he's not one of those "don't question me" types): "Well, erm, let's see, hmm.... oh, all right scratch this."

[HandyAndy5]

No offense to the author, but I've worked with some really nasty people and for some really nasty people. In a perfectly innocuous-looking office job in suburban Chicago, I once met some of the worst people, one of which threatened my co-worker and myself. (In that case, you are correct, don't complain to the boss--go directly to the police.)

In one of the most recent jobs I held, the company could not be concerned less with employee safety. They would let the fleet vehicles' safety go--not fixing brakes, not replacing tires, etc. Once, the metal rims actually showed through before they fixed the tires. We had one vehicle which used to stall at highway speeds--they let that go for two years. When I finally complained about safety (no one else was brave enough) it was part of the reason I got fired. So, the author is right on that score about getting fired for complaining, but I'm still alive. So, even though I haven't been able to get a job since then, I guess I still got the best of the deal.

[joshuaslavitt]

Five things never to say to Amy Levin-Epstein:
1. Your advice is lame
2. Have you ever had a job with a boss?
3. Do you know what it's like to actually manage employees?
4. They really pay you for this?
5. How can I get a job serving out this kind of drivel?

[HandyAndy5]

Signed, someone who has held a REAL job.

[jcappellato]

I have to agree with Joshua here. And an answer regarding point 5 would be appreciated.

[johnnyplankton]

I can't believe you got paid for this. It's not you, it just shows where the state of content is these days.

Here's another thing to not say to your boss: "I really enjoyed your wife's work in 'Deliveries in the Rear'. She was great as Hooker #3."

[Dunestrider]

True story: we had hired a brand new, low-level employee. As soon as he is hired, he wanted to take his two-week vacation (which he wouldn't be eligible for until a year had passed).