How NOT to fire someone: 5 common mistakes

Unless you're a natural bully, firing someone is never fun. It is, of course, a necessary part of being a manager, and it's a skill that can be honed. The worst mistake, according to experts? Going through the motions like a robot. "Act like a human being. One day it may be you on the other side of the desk and you'd appreciate being handled like one," says executive coach John M. McKee, a former executive with companies like DIRECTV, who oversaw the hiring (and firing) of some 3,000 workers before founding his own Los Angeles career coaching practice.

Here are 5 common firing missteps, from McKee and two other executives. Avoid them, and you'll become as proficient as possible in the skill of laying someone off with respect:

Not Looking Your Soon-To-Be Ex-Employee In The Eye

One of the best ways to show respect is to make eye contact. "This is a big deal - there's another human being across the table from you and being human at this time will make a huge difference to them after they've left and recall how this was handled (perhaps for years to come)," says McKee.

Being Cagey About Your Reasons

Explaining your reasoning -- briefly -- is the fastest way to give your move to fire someone a silver lining. "You can help catapult someone's career instead of paralyze it. Helping them excel in a different environment if they don't fit yours is a gift of a real leader," says hair color expert Kelly Van Gogh, CEO and founder of Kelly Van Gogh Colour.

Being Too Friendly About It

"I once fired someone and was so nice that they didn't realize they were actually fired," recalls Alison Brod, CEO of Alison Brod Public Relations. Getting fired is tough, but you can soften the blow by making your message clear and as concise as possible. This means leading right away with your unfortunate message, and then adding any "thank you for your contributions" or "I'm sorry this position wasn't a good fit for you." Of course, this latter step will depend upon the situation.

Not Involving HR

Whether your human resources team is ever-present or stays behind the scenes, this is one time that it can often help to use your HR team. "If you can have an HR rep in the meeting with you or waiting elsewhere, it allows the person being terminated to talk afterward with the HR person who can explain things like final pay, ongoing health benefits, that will become very important to the individual," says McKee.

Not Shutting Up

After giving someone notice, give them 30 seconds to digest the blow. "Talking while the message is being processed doesn't help [and] can hinder the person's ability to get through this moment," says McKee. Finally, avoid getting into a very detailed discussion of the situation (beyond a brief explanation). "You could unintentionally say something that may come back and bite you," says McKee. Having an HR person helping can prevent you from saying too much, or too little.

More on Moneywatch:
-- Become a better manager: 14 simple tips to try today
-- 4 things a manager should never say
-- Anger management: 4 tricks for a peaceful workplace

[annalee.reid]

sorry, made a spelling mistake. i am interested in all your tips about the mamghersin jobs and every day life and they have made me feel comforted in that there are people such as you who are interedted in helping people whio are struggling with their jobs and in general life. thank you very much. i would like more info about seeking jobs after redundancies.

[annalee.reid]

this is very good. have you got any tips on the ame basis, but on being made redundant?

[almcfarland]

It helps to remember that often good employees are merely in the wrong role (e.g. mismatches with their skills, interests, and passion). When something like this happens it makes good sense to help people reach their potential. http://******/mn2udW Letting them go is sometimes the best alternative (even if it doesn't feel like it in the short term).

[jeannutson]

Interesting!not firing in that manner will still not make the fired employee happy but at least it will earn you some respect as a manager.

[corwin78]

In my opinion, the most callous way to tell me that I'm done would be to set up a conference between myself and HR. I could forgive this, though, if my manager was a kid and it was the first time he or she ever made this kind of announcement.

HR people represent the least of all personality types with which I ever prefer keep contact, and I will never owe any one of them an exit interview. If I give an exit interview to HR, it will be done as a favor.

[bigdaddycash]

Eugh! What a dreadful state of affairs when you should become "proficient as possible in the skill of laying someone off..."
That's a skill I have no desire ever to become adept in.

[bob453--2008]

Order the check and take the person off the schedule. That will make you have to go through with it. Make sure you don't humiliate the terminated employee http://www.retaildoc.com/blog/humiliate-employee/ And don't sit down, you don't want to be comfortable doing this.

[rhiebert]

Employees who are shown the pick slip have one right, to find another employer. On the serious side, employers have an obligation to do performance evaluations, six months, annual etc.; this protects both employees and employer. It's not "if" but "when" litigation happens to stick it to the boss for firing people for stupid reasons just to pay cheaper wages.

[aharrell3000]

Very good points! I'd also add:
1) Not being honest (I call this avoiding "The Truth" firing
2) Not being direct ( I hate the fumbler...or nervous willy)
3)Not providing clear examples as to why you're firing this person (Lack of documentation will definitely set you up for a legal battle)

Thanks for posting!!

[jstidham]

This almost too funny!!! I know one employee who got fired a couple months back from their job by their manager, who did it via a speakerphone in HR's conference room... With HR facilitating the conversation and the employee was never given any solid reasons for the termination... just that it "was a business decision"! Guess it's a little too late to send this article along to the HR Dept. or that manager to any good... OOPS!