Why Does My Boss Keep Postponing My Performance Review?

(MoneyWatch)  Dear Stanley,
My boss (the company VP) keeps putting off my performance review. She's always complimentary about my work and keeps giving me more to do, knowing that it will be done conscientiously and efficiently. I've reminded her once, and she responded that I had my start date wrong, while implying a "talk to me later" attitude. She later realized I was right about my start date and said we'd get together in two weeks. It's now been a month, and I haven't heard a word from her. I don't want to be a nag and doubt in these crucial times that I'll get a raise. What should I do?
Signed,
Needing Feedback

Dear Numbnuts,

What are you, crazy? Do you know how many people have been defenestrated because they were forced to engage in a formal review? Let me tell you something. You have your review. She likes your work. She gives you things to do. She has no desire to formalize her approval. What are you pushing for? Some notes in your file? Stop it! Immediately!

What people don't recognize is that a formal review is NOT an occasion where your boss shows you the love and the money and sends you off with a candy cane. The process requires your manager to look at the things you do well and to criticize the things you do poorly, even if you don't DO anything poorly. They have to come up with something. So then your jacket has a notation in it that says something that would never be in it if you hadn't pushed for the review, like, "Bob sometimes doesn't follow through on things," or "Bob has trouble prioritizing at times." Of course you have trouble prioritizing! The boss has given you all the major projects she has no desire to work on!

Cut it out. Do your work. And stop being a pain in the ass. While you're at it, throw out your Harvard Business Review. You've obviously been reading too much of it, or something like it. Read something that has real-world application, like comic books.

By the way, your attitude about a raise is another mystery to me. Yeah, times are hard. But if you don't make more than $100,000 a year, your raise will be chump change for the company. If she likes you as much as it seems she does, tell her that you don't need a formal review, but how about a little bump in your piddling compensation?