The Giving Trap

(MoneyWatch)  In the course of pursuing new business and growing relationships, it is of course necessary to expend time. Okay, that's hardly a revelation.

The thing is, we need to keep a handle on it. Our clients and prospects must know what we're doing, why we're doing it and how far we'll go. Spending time is fine as long as we're clearly valuing it.

From time to time we'll inevitably be pushed to go further and it's in our response to this that things can get tricky. The moment we go further --- without at least clearly flagging it --- we risk devaluing our services.

Good, strategic giving is when we add value without being asked. The Giving Trap is when we discount our services or weaken the perception of our value by going too far.

Let's take the scenario of a consultant who gives a free one-hour consultation as part of her business development strategy. Nothing wrong with that. I do it myself.

But what are the implications when she's so keen to hook a client she lets a one-hour session turn into ninety minutes...without saying anything?

Compare that with a free one-hour consultation where at around fifty minutes, realising it's going to run over the hour our consultant pauses, makes clear she is about to complete the hour and offers an extension of thirty minutes.

Spot the difference? In the first scenario she's in danger of signalling a lack of respect for time and creating a potentially damaging precedent in the eyes of a potential client. In the second, she's highlighting the value of her time and adding value by giving more.

From which position would you most like to begin a new relationship?