Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

(MoneyWatch)  Back before the economy imploded and unemployment hovered near 10 percent and some of my most-respected colleagues began exploring Amway as a valid income option, we were always counseled to play hard-to-get in job interviews.

Don't talk salary first. Be enthusiastic, but don't gush. Remember that you'd be bringing value to their organization. Above all, make sure you negotiate, because after all, any job offer is just a starting point.

Has that all changed?

I just read a piece by Tim Tolan on Fistful of Talent in which he expressed consternation that a candidate might go through several rounds of vetting and still show up at the final interview with a "you'd be lucky to have me" attitude. His point seemed to be that with unemployment rates as high as they are, anyone should be swooningly grateful to have made it that far.

"Maybe they don't understand math or are so caught up in themselves they simply don't get it. Can you say 'clueless'? Thanks."

Now, maybe he's talking about people who are still saying "I'm not sure this is the direction I want to go" in that final interview. If that's the case, he's dead-on. If you're so unsure of whether this job is the right fit, why in tarnation did you keep interviewing up to this point?

But if he's talking about a candidate who's confident in his abilities and is expecting to have his prospective employers show him a certain amount of wooing, well, I think he's dead wrong.

I recently interviewed for a gig that would have been a huge win-win. I brought to the table a unique skill set and background that would fill a gaping hole in their structure. They were a smart organization that would have provided me new challenges and opportunities. And they recruited me; I didn't approach them. It took them two months to convince me to interview -- for a position they were creating for me.

But when I went to meet the senior management, they spent no time at all telling me how much they'd like to have me on board, or why I'd be a good fit, or what the company could offer me. Instead, they grilled me on minutiae like start times, telecommuting, and vacation requirements.

I get it that you need to figure that stuff out. But considering the effort they put into pursuing me, you'd think they wouldn't treat me as if I was someone who'd just walked in off the street with a "Help Wanted" ad clutched in my grimy hand.

In the end, I said no, despite a fair offer. Recession or not, I want to be part of an organization that values me, not one that expects me to be grateful just to have a paycheck.

I'm sure I'm going to get plenty of comments from people who will flame me for turning up my nose at a steady income, but so be it; my job satisfaction comes from more than just money. As long as I'm getting by, I'll hold out for that professional respect.

So I say playing hard-to-get is still the right approach. If you don't respect yourself, how can you expect a potential employer to respect you?

(image by WTL Photos via Flickr, CC 2.0)