Lost Your Job? Read This

(MoneyWatch)  Yes, there are some crappy things about getting laid off or fired, like having to act cool when you've just been kicked in the teeth by a boss you can't stand and have no respect for. Or having to explain what happened, over and over again, in every interview you have for the rest of your life.

But you know what? I'm not going to cry for you and you shouldn't cry for yourself. Sounds cold, I know. But I've been there myself. I've been fired. I've been laid off. And I ran a company that had to file for chapter 7 bankruptcy protection and shut down.

I've lost jobs. High paying, senior executive jobs. In fact, I lost a ship-load of dough when the tech bubble burst. Then I was fired. That was the worst. And I had nothing waiting for me in the wings. Just fear and bills.

Sure, it sucked at the time. I was scared, down, depressed. I felt sorry for myself -- for a while. You've got to go through that or you're not human. But I survived. Actually, I did better than survive. I bounced back. I did better than before.
No, it isn't easy, so I don't want to hear any of that "easier said than done" crap. It's hard. It's really hard. It takes honesty, courage, and perseverance. But hey, what's the alternative? Give up? Even failure's better than that. Way better.

Here are the three things you need to do to set yourself up for a rapid comeback. I'm not talking about going back to school and stuff like that. I'm talking about emotionally.

I learned the hard way, and that's the only way. It'll be hard for you too. But this will help, and not just because I've gone through it myself. I use a similar methodology for corporate and business turnarounds. It works for companies and groups of people as well as individuals.

1. Be honest with yourself. Take the opportunity to do a 360 degree analysis of yourself and your career. Could you have done better? What can you do differently to help boost your career? This is really important because you're most receptive and open to real behavioral change when you're down.
2. Be good to yourself. Take a break. Take a trip of self discovery. Get out and exercise. Do a few projects you've had on the backburner for a while (I built a greenhouse one time). Pick flowers for your spouse. Take the kids to an amusement park. Eat right. Learn to cook something. Get the picture?
3. Lean on others. That's right; don't be the macho "big bucks and I can do anything" guy. The higher the pedestal, the bigger the fall. Admit you're afraid. That's what courage is all about. Accept good will, emotional support, and mentoring from others. With help from friends and family, you'll get through it.

Well, from an emotional standpoint, that's pretty much it. All things pass; it's just part of life. We've all gone through it and survived. So will you.

Also check out: The 10 Worst Things About Getting Laid Off and How Failure Makes You a Better Manager