Whale Tail Fail: Modeling That Blue Thong After Bill Clinton

(MoneyWatch)  If you were a philanthropic organization supported by more than 5,000 women named the Blue Thong Society, is Bill Clinton's name really what you'd put at the top of a press release?

BTS describes itself as a "unique international women's philanthropic organization" whose members "plan outrageous outings, festive get-togethers and fabulous efforts on behalf of the charitable causes they support." I am sure they do all these things. There is no doubt that they do more good in a day than your humble writer does in a year. Let's make this clear: They are a benefit to the planet and I am not because I am... well, because I am writing this.

But, jeeeeze, here's what the headline to the press release says:

Blue Thong Society Remodels Itself After Clinton Global Initiative, Requires Chapter GoodWorks Be Pledged To Its Entire Membership

In order to make sure I wasn't A) imagining this and B) alone in my response, I sent it to my long-suffering editor, who replied: "I couldn't figure out if that was serious or a really deadpan parody. And now it looks like it thinks it's serious. No way."
So I shot an email off to Mary Jo Wallo, the group's founder who is most definitely a better person than I am, asking, "Huh?" (I phrased it in a slightly longer and definitely more diplomatic way: Are you concerned about this?) Her response: "No we don't have any concerns."
Personally I think what she should have said was:

Look, moron, that was all a long time ago and Mr. Clinton has spent his time out-of-office doing some really good work and coming up with very smart ways to help people. So we thought we would inspire our members to make a better world using some of his ideas.

Which she didn't, of course. Unsaid in all that -- but perfectly reasonably implied -- would be that I am the kind of guy who wouldn't put down his TV remote long enough to offer a piece of carrot to a starving baby bunny. And she would be right.

Ah, that old impeachment-era nostalgia
To be honest I sometimes feel a little nostalgic about the whole Bill & Monica thing. After all, that was back during a time when the U.S. was well-off and so lacking in problems that we (or some of we) thought it an important issue. Sigh. Good times. Good times.

If I have any real problems with BTS it is just this: The group's signature drink is "The Blue Thong Martini" which is made of expensive vodka and Blue Curacao. I'm sorry, but even in this age of martini debasement, if it has neither gin nor vermouth IT IS NOT A MARTINI.
If you would like to support the BTS and underscore what a horrible misanthrope I am even for thinking things like this, please go to their store and buy one of the many different products with their logo on it -- none of which, by the way, are a blue thong.

If anyone asks, tell them some jerk sent you.

Related:

• So Your Network's Been Hacked: Five Ways To Turn A Profit
• Quiz: Is It Social Media News... or Social Media Satire?
• Oprah's Longest Goodbye: A Commemorative Guide To The Commemorative Gifts