Kotex Campaign Gets Real: Goodbye Horses and Yoga; Hello, Diagrams and the V-Word

(MoneyWatch)  You still can't say "vagina" in a network TV ad, the New York Times reports, even if the ad is for tampons. "Down there" is out as well, Kotex and its ad agency, JWT, were told by networks as they attempted to launch a new campaign for tampons that skewers some of the more ludicrous conventions for talking about feminine hygiene products -- blue liquid, yoga, horse riding on the beach and wearing all-white outfits.

You have to applaud this sort of thing. Everyone knows tampon advertising is at best embarrassing and at worst laughable. The best part of the Kotex campaign is that the imagery for the ad was taken from Kotex's own history of horrible advertising, which it has conveniently collected on its web site so you can join in the company's voluntary self-humiliation. Hence the script in Kotex's new TV spot (video below):

How do I feel about my period? ... I love it. I want to hold really soft things, like my cat. It makes me feel really pure. Sometimes I just want to run on the beach. I like to twirl, maybe in slow motion. And I do it in my white Spandex. And usually, by the third day, I really just want to dance. The ads on TV are really helpful, because they use that blue liquid, and I'm like, Oh! That's what's supposed to happen!

Merrie Harris, global business director at JWT, said:

... we're saying, enough with the euphemisms, and get over it. Tampon is not a dirty word, and neither is vagina.

That may be literally true, but don't hold your breath for TV to relax its not-in-front-of-the-children attitude. It will be a long time before networks allow this video, also part of the Kotex campaign, on TV, diagrams included:

Remember, you have three holes down there. We're talking about the vagina. That's the middle one.

Sounds like a T-shirt slogan to me.