Sad dads spank more, study says: Who gets hit?

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(CBS/AP) CHICAGO - Sad dads are more likely to spank, and many are spanking even little kids. In fact, a new survey shows that about 40 percent of depressed fathers say they've spanked kids as young as one year old, versus just 13 percent of fathers who weren't depressed.

The American Academy of Pediatrics warns against spanking children of any age, and studies have shown that kids who are spanked are at risk of being physically abused and becoming aggressive themselves.

The researchers said spanking who are only 1 is especially worrisome, because they could get injured and are unlikely to understand the link between their behavior and subsequent punishment.

The study - released online Monday in the journal Pediatrics - was based on data on 1,746 fathers in 16 large U.S. cities. Lead author Dr. Neal Davis said that was the most recent comprehensive data on the subject, and he believes it is relevant today. Depression among fathers is strongly tied to unemployment rates, which are higher now than a decade ago, he said.

Overall, 7 percent of dads had experienced recent major depression. Some likely had a history of depression, but in others it was probably tied to their children's birth, similar to postpartum depression in women, Davis said. A pediatrician now working in Murray, Utah, Davis did the research while at the University of Michigan.

Postpartum depression is common in women. By some estimates as many as 25 percent develop it shortly after childbirth. Severe cases have been linked with suicide and with deaths in children including several high-profile drownings.

Less is known about depression in new dads, said Dr. Craig Garfield, an assistant pediatrics professor at Northwestern University and co-author of a Pediatrics editorial.

Chris Illuminati, a Lawrenceville, N.J., writer and stay-at-home dad with a 1-year-old son, says he read postpartum brochures the pediatrician gave his wife during an office visit. He said he found himself silently answering yes to questions about symptoms.

Illuminati said he'd never experienced depression, but starting from the time his son was a few months old, he began feeling down, sleep-deprived, trapped and resentful toward a baby who slept fitfully and had disrupted his life.

The 33-year-old father stressed that he loves his little boy, and has never spanked him, but has felt the frustration that might lead others to do so.

"There have been times where I've wanted to, but I've pulled back," Illuminati said.

He said he had been finding ways to avoid his son once his wife got home from work, and realized he probably needed help. "I didn't know who to talk to. I felt like a wuss if I mentioned it to anyone," he said.

Blogging about fatherhood helped, he said, and his sadness has mostly subsided now that his son is older.

"It should be studied," Illuminati said. "The hardest part is going to be getting guys to talk about it...or even recognize it."

[barcar55]

To be honest spanking does not hurt the child or their self-esteem. There is a difference between spanking and beating. I was spanked as a child when needed. I learned boundaries and who was in charge. I also learned to respect authority and my elders. So if your baby reaches for a hot pot to pull off the stove or some other thing to cause harm to them are you going to say "oh please don't do that". No, you slap their little hand and say "no, no!". Sick of all the parental pyscology being shoved off on people. Take a look at what is happening in our schools because no one wants their children spanked or reprimended. Kids are out of control, there is no respect for themselves or others; especially adults. Our jails and prisons are over crowded. We as parents have had our rights taken away. We don't have school prayer as we did when I was a kid. We said the Pledge of Allegiance, sang America the Beautiful, etc., learned respect and honor.

I spank my grandson and he is just fine. He has a 98 grade point average, well adjusted, well-mannered and well liked. He knows how to act in church and in public. And it is not because he has been spanked into submission. I got a handle on things at an early age. So, don't spank your kid and see how he or she turns out. You may wish later you had spanked.

[ge556]

You don't have to hurt a child to say "no". I never spanked my son, and I'm glad. He's a sweet young man, and we have a great relationship. He tells me more about his life, his thoughts, and his feelings than most young adults tell their parents.

I did tell him that rudeness was not acceptable, and that I want him to treat others with respect. But that could have been undermined if I did not treat him with respect. Respect has to go both ways. Hitting is disrespectful, in general.

TruthTeller

[formrusmcsgt]

I see many parents spank or slap when angry.

Spanking should never be done when one is angry or with anything but the bare hand.

This is how I interpret the report:

unhappy people anger more easily than happy people do. Coupole that with the propensity for many to spank when angry, and there you have your correlation between unhappines and frequency.

[ge556]

Most parents nowadays know that spanking is not the best answer. They ONLY spank when angry, or scared (e.g., child ran into the street).

If it appears helpful, it is often counterproductive in the long run. A spanked child can become more angry, and feel that the parent is being unfair or abusive. Or, on the other hand, a spanked child can feel bad about himself or herself, which can take the boldness out of a young life, which is a true shame.

TruthTeller

[ge556]

Hurting a child to teach them something is generally a bad idea, but we do a lousy job of teaching parenting skills in this country, so most of us do what was done to us.

TruthTeller in Madison