Seven-year itch now down to three years: Why?

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(CBS) Seven-year itch? These days, couples' passion starts to cool after only three years, according to a new survey.

Weight gain by a partner, lack of money, snoring, and overexposure to the in-laws are top passion-killers, the Daily Mail reported. Did someone say lack of racy underwear? That's another biggie, along with toenail clippings left on the bathroom floor.

What explains couples' lack of tolerance?

"Longer working hours combined with money worries are clearly taking their toll on modern relationships and we are seeing an increasing trend for solo holidays and weekends away from marriages and relationships in order to revive the romantic spark," Judi James, the pollster who oversaw the survey, told Reuters.

The survey of 2,000 adults in steady relationships - commissioned by Warner Brothers to promote the release of its new comedy, "Hall Pass" - showed that couples spend less time in the bedroom as they become more annoyed with each other. Fifty-two percent of couples in new relationships reported having sex at least three times a week, as compared to 16 percent of those whose relationships were at least three years old, according to Reuters.

Couples seem to compensate by spending more time alone and taking separate vacations, according to Reuters.

What can couples do to keep the home fires burning? Recognize that love is tough, and that it's perfectly normal to think about straying as relationships evolve. That's the word from Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the authors of "Building a Love that Lasts" and bloggers for Psychology Today. Recurring fantasies about someone else suggest a problem that needs to be addressed head-on - sometimes with the help of a marriage counselor.

But the Schmitz's simplest observation may be the best piece of advice for couples:

"Love is tough."

[rhinedag2]

'Love is tough' is a pretty hopeless comment for professionals in the relationship industry. I found that keeping my relationship strong by learning how to be in it is much more helpful than trying to fix problems later. A bit of prevention goes a long way! We attend marriage strengthening workshops in our community as well as online. Our fav is thinkmarriage.org, since they are in our state and have online resources. You don't have to settle for unsatisfying relationships - you and your spouse can LEARN to love each other better...I did!

[rf35]

Love is tough? My, what insightful "advice" from the so-called relationship professionals. Of course it's tough. Humans weren't built to be monogamous beings. Men are driven to spread their seed far and wide and women instinctively desire variation in what they mix with their genetic material. Physically, a child becomes able to fend for itself in less than ten years (about 7, actually). Even before that, once the female is able to leave the den for long enough to provide food for herself and her offspring, she no longer needs the father to hang around and will want to find a different mate to start the next reproductive cycle. Social development has prolonged the maturation period and created a greater need for long-term mating. As society continues to change and others are more and more involved in raising offspring, the woman sees less need for a permanent mate and will look to vary her choices again. Men...well, we were, are, and alwayse will be dogs.

[guest173]

in my experience the honeymoon has been over after 1 year. I would say that more women need to stop settling for loser men who lie and mooch off women just because they are bored with no job and women want to give the benefit of the doubt. let's stop settling and raise our kids and boys especially to be harder workers not lazy like too many are filling the prisons

[amerilatino]

No wonder they get sick of each other; have you seen how slovenly, fat and indolent young people in this country seem today with pictures and home-made films of their peers let's say, 30-40 years ago? Even the hippies looked better.

[tsigili]

The real reason? Women now make their own money, or can get money, from child support, etc., and so, they make no effort to get along with their husbands, because, in the end, they were only after kids, in the first place.....a husband isn't essential to their lifestyle.

The bottom line is.....men want a companion, above all else, and if the woman has different priorities, then the man becomes dissatisfied.

[guest173]

oh please women are not your sex toys stop treating them as such. too many men mooch off women who work harder in many cases

[Henri_Rochard]

My wife has always been, and will always be, my very best friend.

That's why I knew it was OK to marry her 32 years ago.

[pragmatist1]

...congrats and many more years to both of you...mine lasted "only" fifteen years...

[pragmatist1]

I think many younger individuals weren't raised to work out their conflicts because their parents over-indulged them and inculcated them with a sense of immediacy in getting whatever they wanted without any effort plus being entitled to whatever they wanted. It's not just relationships that are impacted by this. Too many don't want to expend the effort in working at something. Rather than scratching the itch, the couples should either seek professional counseling or end their relationship and stop living a fraudulent life.

[guest173]

but let's not idealize the old days which had a lot more domestic violence then we still have today. you hear from old timers all the time about mom getting beat up and the kids in fear often of alcoholic parents. the old days werent' much better