Lisa Ling Miscarriage: I Felt Like a "Complete Failure"

Lisa Ling (right) in happy times, shown here with her mother and brother-in-law at a soccer game in Pasadena, Calif. on Aug. 1, 2009. (Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

(CBS/AP) "Complete failure." That's Lisa Ling describing how she thought about herself after suffering a miscarriage six months ago.

Ling, who appeared on "The View" from 1999 to 2002, came back to the show Tuesday to talk about her experience. Her taped appearance was scheduled to air today.

She says that after she'd been pregnant for nine weeks, she was told her baby had no heartbeat. She "felt more like a failure than I'd felt in a very long time," she says. Ling is married to Paul Song, an oncologist.

"We actually [hadn't] been trying that long," she says in the interview, according to People magazine. "I don't know that I took it as seriously as I should have because it happened so fast. But then when I heard the doctor say there was no heartbeat it was like bam, like a knife through the heart."

Ling, who is 37, says she fears it might happen again.

She may have reason to worry. Miscarriage is more common among women over age 35, as well as women who have previously miscarried.

Most miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities that make it impossible for the fetus to develop. Other causes include hormone problems, infections, and diabetes and other diseases.

Ling says many women she knew had miscarriages but rarely talked about it. So she's set up a website called Secret Society of Women  to jump-start the discussion.

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[karlaatcbs]

Lisa Ling's website secret society of women is a joke. It's just another website for haters. Won't be long before the whole site is trashed by the haters.

[rf35]

Lisa, I'm sure you are a complete failure but it has nothing to do with your miscarriage. By some estimates, well over half of all pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion (though the mother usually never knows she was pregnant). This feeling is probably guilt. I'll explain: you felt guilty because you were going to increase the already unsustainable population of Earth which will eventually result in horrible, lingering death for hundreds of millions, mostly children. Your subconscious mind knows this. You had the miscarriage and were unconsciously relieved that you were no longer being part of the problem. This triggered resurgent guilt on the conscious level because your conscious mind continues to want you to believe that you want children. Get counseling and quit trying to contribute to the overpopulation of the planet.

[Angel314]

Rf35, who do YOU think you are? First of all get your facts straight, 1 in 4 known pregancies end in miscarriage. She was 9 weeks along, which is a long time to know you are pregnant, change your diet and build your hopes and dreams for that child. Her loss is real. You must either be a man who can't understand the bond you feel when you have the gift of life inside of you or you must not have any children of your own. With the hate you have for the world, my advice to you is go get some help and stop talking trash against others who are going through difficult times.

[pragmatist1]

Why do so many women automatically blame themselves for their spontaneous abortion? Why do so many women feel as though they're a failure because of this medical occurrence? It happens. It's sad, but it rarely is the fault of the woman. Women shouldn't feel like it's their fault.

[DarciKlein]

Lisa, THANK YOU for telling your story. So many women suffer loss, and almost always in isolation. And you mentioned a great point: now you're scared about the next pregnancy. My story offers you and so many other women hope. I lost four babies, including twins at twenty weeks. I was devastated. Depressed. And then I got determined. Doctors were not taking me seriously, so I pushed until they did- and I was diagnosed with two common and treatable conditions. I'm now blessed with two healthy children, and my wounds are mostly healed. Learn more about overcoming the anguish and fear of loss and having that family you dream of at my website, http://www.tofullterm.com And Bless You, Lisa, for helping so many women today!