HealthPop
By

Neil Katz /

CBS News/ October 27, 2010, 5:47 PM

Maura Kelly Asks "Should Fatties Get a Room?"

CBS sitcom Mike and Molly.

CBS sitcom "Mike and Molly." (CBS)


(CBS) We don't know how many obese people regularly read Marie Claire author Maura Kelly, but they seem to be paying attention now.

On Tuesday, Kelly opined on whether it was unseemly to show morbidly obese characters making out on television.

"I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other," she wrote. "Because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."

Ouch.

Kelly says she wrote the piece at the urging of her editor. Specifically, they were talking about the show "Mike & Molly," a CBS sitcom featuring two people that meet at Overeaters Anonymous.

At the end of her story, Kelly asked, "What do you guys think? Fat people making out on TV - are you cool with it? Do you think I'm being an insensitive jerk?"

Thousands wrote back. Few were kind.

"I am greatly saddened by this article and by the profound prejudice and ignorance behind it. I have been over weight all my life, and as a child, I was merciless teased for it," wrote one reader. "Yes, you are indeed an insensitive jerk, as well as a bully, and a promoter of hatred towards plus-size people," wrote another.

Kelly quickly apologized.

"I would really like to apologize for the insensitive things I've said in this post," she wrote. "Believe it or not, I never wanted anyone to feel bullied or ashamed after reading this, and I sorely regret that it upset people so much. A lot of what I said was unnecessary. It wasn't productive, either."

Some readers accepted the apology on face value. Others weren't so forgiving.

"No wonder you lash out at 'fatties' - you must feel terrible about being so homely. All that ugliness inside you apparently had to come out in your appearance too," wrote a poster. One poster put it more succinctly: "Die in a fire."

But putting the rage aside, does Kelly have a point about health and obesity?

"No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy," she wrote. "And obesity is costing our country far more in terms of all the related health problems we are paying for, by way of our insurance, than any other health problem, even cancer."

There's a lot of truth to that. But will readers pay heed? Fat chance.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Was Kelly's apology enough? Was she telling the hard truth about health and obesity?






© 2010 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.
57 Comments Add a Comment
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lovingcurves says:
This is one of those tricky things....where some people are lucky. They're naturally skinny. Can eat what they want and have naturally high metabolisms or they just easily burn calories. Some people have lifestyles that easily allow them to schedule the kind of workout they need to keep in shape. Some people face life style changes or tragedies (like the biggest loser contestant who had a 3 year old with cancer that died...after tons of time in the hospital outside of work, little time to take care of herself...found herself overweight.) Sometimes things happen and people let themselves go or don't get to be a priority.

Then, there are people who are just lazy. Just lazy and who over-indulge for whatever reason. And some make excuses as to why...when it really boils down to if they REALLY wanted it...they'd make it work.

I'm a size 12. I am far from tiny. I workout 5 to 6 days a week, am a single mom with a fulltime AND a part-time job. I grew up with my dad at home and mom working, so thanks to years of eating what he knew how to make (hamburgers, frozen pizza and blonde brownies :) I developed tastes for things that aren't all that good for me. I LOVE soda. But I also walk, do pilates, run, lift some weights, jump rope, play with my kids and I'm slowly but surely learning to love a healthier diet. It takes time and patience. However, if I REALLY wanted to, I could be smaller. I know I could. I just value having the freedom to eat what I want.

I wish people weren't so judgemental. I don't feel all that comfortable shopping at certain stores because I'm not the little, tiny person they advertise to, however, I know I'm healthy, I have a good, curvy shape and I LOVE exercise. No one can EVER say I'm lazy.

Just a few months ago, the night before I did a half marathon I was out to eat with a group of runners. At an italian place. It was a prom night, so tons of hs girls in their little strappy dresses. I found myself jealous...but then I saw two large girls probably about the same age (guess based on their style of clothes) out together eating...and they looked so unhappy even when they were eating. Guilting them is not the answer. It's sad they have to feel ashamed, but there isn't an easy answer.

I don't feel sorry for over-weight people. I'll admit I'm kind of grossed out by some. I know sometimes it gets out of control, but I think food is some peoples drug and that's not okay. You are ultimately responsible for your appearance and your health. Don't just do it for looks, do it for your family or those who are important to you.
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davidnva says:
All people want and deserve affection regardless of ethnicity, race, religion, creed, sexual orientation or size . To suggest that a person is unworthy of affection due to the individual's size smacks of a fascist ideology whose social cornerstone was the placing of 'value' on lifes that ultimately decided who should live or die. We know from science that body types and personality are linked and are hereditary. Some people will never be skinny and some will never be fat.
There is enough pressure from all the marketing execs to make anyone who doesn't fit the Madison Avenue and Hollywood mold feel less than human. We do not need more fuel thown on that fire! If aliens were to view most all media productions produced here, they would think that we were all young and beautiful with fabulous homes, luxury cars and hardly ever had to lift a finger to do anything productive. Except for a very few, life doesn't work that way. And apparently the few who do live such lives seem to be.... Well, they'll never be Mother Theresa. Heck, they won't even be Rose Nylan.
As someone who was quite small throughout adolescence and have never had a weight problem, I would far rather date someone who is kind and considerate with some humility and humanity who just happens to be large rather than some 'beautiful' person who is conceited and shallow. And I have done so!
To Maura Kelly: Most of us do not fit your mold. Thankfully!
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Nanasjt says:
I am sure, Ms. Maura Kelly, that people were 'grossed out' by you when you were anorexic!! Please..you're stupidity and ignorance is blazing loud and clear. A lot of overweight people are not by choice and some are through inactivity and overeating; but that doesn't mean they deserve the hatred that you spewed towards these people. I have suffered from being overweight for many years and am trying very hard, now, to overcome it. It's very hard. Harder than when you were throwing up your meals in the toilet and eating just lettuce because you thought an extra ounce on your body, or others, just would never happen and was 'disgusting'. Maybe you should NOT be working for a French magazine that most likely only has underweight models adorning the pages. I have never read this magazine, even though I am very interested in fashion, and never will. Can I ask YOU a question?? Are you perfect in every way? Body, mind and health? I doubt it very much.
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Nanasjt replies:
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Oops...'YOUR STUPDITY'--not 'you're'!!
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erin061486 says:
she's right. obesity kills more people than smoking and drugs and alcohol. we should despise it the same as we do a loady on drugs. people who eat do way too much do so at the expense of others just like any other addict.

it is gross to watch.
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PanicMoon says:
As a former ?fatty?, now a size 8 (although in some circles that?s still considered fat), there have been guys I have gone out with who didn?t have a clue what I used to look like, but when they started talking about how fat someone is or how ugly they are b/c of a birthmark, etc., I dumped them. Even though weight may no longer be an issue for me, all sorts of things can happen in life that can affect your looks ? age, illness, chemo, surgery, accidents ? and I wasn?t going to invest another minute in someone who would bail at the first wrinkle.
Ms. Kelly should enjoy being young, beautiful and thin because someday her looks will change, too, and if that is what she loves most about herself, that is the kind of mate she will attract, and who will eventually dump her.
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rockysmts says:
This is a great show. All we ever see on TV is people that are so skinny they look like skeletons. Overweight isn't a joke but they show that by having these characters trying to lose weight. Its not like they are saying being overweight is healthy but they show its not as easy as just throwing up in the toliet to lose it and along the way they make us smile with the humor of the show. I am sick of seeing the barbie doll images on TV, movies, magazines etc. Reality would be nice
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erin061486 replies:
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few people look like skeletons. fact is it's not normal to be fat. obesity kills more people than smoking does. would you object to their normalizing smoking? there's a reason networks stopped showing people smoking on prime time air
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KyTrish56 says:
Well did anyone expect any different from a columnist at Marie Claire Magazine. I don't really have anything against models per se or this magazine but the column shows just how removed from the main stream she really is. I love Mike and Molly and have from the very first episode and felt it was about time to have a show on like this. I would think there are a lot more people that look like the lead characters of the show rather than the models in Marie Claire. I can understand the frustration of the characters on the show with their weight and trying to lose pounds because I have struggled all my life as well so I can identify with them. You can see they are going through the same thing on the show. It just seems to me the person writing the article feels that "fatties" should not find love and happiness that you have to be thin to find it..Well I have 2 words to say to Maura Kelly, just because you are thin doesn't make you a happier person and I can bring up several examples of that Lindsay Lohan and Brittany Spears come to mind. People are People and no matter what you do with your life it's up to you and you alone. I just felt it was an insensitive and cruel article. I love the show and the main characters are cute and funny and deserve love just like everyone else. Maybe she needs to take a look at "Jersey Shore" and tell me those people are truly happy, I would probably say NO WAY.
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DWow says:
Hate doesn't heal.
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erin061486 replies:
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neither does subborning a deadly habit. I am disgusted by any substance abuser because their substance abuse causes pain in the lives around them.
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WillowSunstar says:
I will now boycott this site and news network for putting this up here and allowing the fat phobes to spew their bigotry all over the place. Thanks a lot for contributing to the bullying that makes kids kill themselves. Jerks.
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erin061486 replies:
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substitute food addicts for crack addicts and then you get the picture. it's not bigotry. it's about time.
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rpscot says:
You know what? You just don't get it! Harsh is one thing. Being insensitive and rude is another.

I'm not going to pay for someone to teach my daughter that it's okay or socially acceptable to be that way.

Glad you're not fat any more. Glad you laughed at yourself. Glad that while you may have lost weight, you didn't lose the abilty to be rude and insensitive.

"Marie Claire is a monthly women's magazine first published in France but also distributed in other countries with editions specific to them and in their languages. While each country shares its own special voice with its audience, the United States edition focuses on women around the world and several worldwide issues. The magazine also provides the reader with health, beauty, and fashion information in each issue."

Nowhere in that description does it say that Marie Claire is a forum for rude or insensitive behavior or comments. Since they think it's OKAY for their magazine and their employee to do so. We won't be buying it anymore, nor will we being going to, seeing or otherwise patronizing Ms. Kelly's work in any form in the future.

Thanks for your permission to boycot bad taste and ill manners. I've heard the French were like this....I guess I'm convinced, now.
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TheLongIslandGuy replies:
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I find it sad that u use a magazine to teach your daughter anything but then again I'm not a parent and can't say anything to your parenting methods.

I don't think I'm insensitive to fat people. I'm unsympathetic to those that are overweight and choose to stay that way...worse so if they complain. People show no determination over long periods of time. america wants a quick fix and something like this won't change overnight. Obese that complain and do nothing about it to me are sad and pathetic. U can call me sad for thinking that way and it is your choice but just like I cam call u sad for using a magazine to "teach" your child.

I'm done arguing my point since we obviously have two completely different stand points that really have no basis for understanding. U cam retort and get your last word in but I won't be responding anymore. I wish u the beat of luck with your kid and hope she doesn't fall into believing other peoples opinions and can form opinions and self awareness on her own...be the best skill and life lesson ever taught.

Best wishes
The Li guy
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