Biden recounts personal loss, shares anguish with military families

(CBS News) Speaking to military families who endured the anguish of losing a loved one, Vice President Joe Biden today recalled the car accident that took the lives of his wife and one-year-old daughter in 1972.

In a tone both measured and thoughtful, Biden described receiving the unthinkable news: "And just like you guys know by the tone of a phone call, you just knew didn't you?," he told the audience. "You knew when they walked up the path, you knew when the call came, you knew. You just felt it in your bones. Something bad happened. And I knew. I don't know how I knew. But the call said my wife is dead, my daughter was dead, and wasn't sure how my sons were going to make it."

Biden's first wife, Neilia, and his daughter Naomi were Christmas shopping with sons Beau and Hunter on December 18, when a tractor trailer fatally broadsided their station wagon. The critically injured boys went on to make full recoveries.

The vice president drew knowing laughter as he described the daily trials of grief. "I knew people meant well, they'd come up to me and say 'Joe, I know how you feel. I knew they meant well, I knew they were genuine, but you knew they didn't have any damn idea, right? Isn't that true?"

He spoke of a "black hole" survivors feel in their chest before acknowledging that for the first time in his life, he "understood how someone could consciously decide to commit suicide. Not because they were deranged, not because they were nuts, because they'd been to the top of the mountain and they just knew in their heart they'd never get there again, that there was never going to get, never going to be, that way ever again."

Biden, who has shared memories of his loss before, had a message for the mothers and fathers in the audience. "No parent should be pre-deceased by their son or daughter. I unfortunately had that experience too," he said, before describing his anger. "I don't know about you guys, but I was angry. Man, I was angry. You guys probably handled it better than I did."

A practicing Catholic both then and now, he pointed to a crisis of faith: "I remember being in the [U.S. Capitol] rotunda, walking through to get to the plane to get home, to get to identify," he said, before choosing not to complete the sentence. "And I remember looking up and saying 'God,' as if I was talking to God myself, 'you can't be good, how can you be good?'"

The vice president made special mention of his second wife, Jill, whom he married in 1977. "This woman literally saved my life 5 years later."

[2happy2ride]

Moe & Curly, phew! What a pair. Their desperation is becoming nauseating. Just when I think a dignified human being would never stoop that low, these two dive under it.

[USSR--is---barack]

Boo Hoo!
Sounded more like he was feeling sorry for himself and using his dead wife and child to snow the troops about his fake concern for what they are still going through.
Politicians make me want to hurl.

[Smuldberg]

Joe Biden's open-hearted honest discussion of his grief is admirable. ??He is not alone in having thoughts of dying in this situation. ?Biden explains that with time and support he was able to make some peace with his deep sorrow and suicidal thinking receded. ?However, some people are not able to do so, even after many months or years. ?People with complicated grief experience persistent intense yearning for their loved ones and want more than anything to be with them again. ?It is not unusual for them to contemplate suicide. ?Studies have shown that suicidal thinking is more common among people with complicated grief than even among people with major depression.

[chilian02]

empathy and understanding always comes with a traumatic experience. there are many different scenarios. thats why people can relate to other people. loss is loss.

[marychgo]

The Beltway media always love to portray Biden as not very smart and a gaffe machine, but I've always found that facile putdown stupid. Joe is a good and decent man and, unlike most politicians, he really HAS experienced the kind of loss that's like a punch in the gut. Many veterans have experienced that, too. There's nothing inappropriate about Biden sharing his experience with families who have experienced the same kind of devastating loss, as one human being to another. Those who object either are not human beings or have never experienced that kind of loss.

[esq777]

Powerful stuff. I can only imagine Willard Romney trying to give a speech like that. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to him? His car elevator is taking too long to build? His Dancing Horse lost?

[think888]

Lucas's comment does not need a reply as his membership in the human race is questionable or as often stated by a close friend of mine "they fool you by walking upright". I saw an article a few years back that said the Vice President had the lowest amount of personal wealth when compared to others in Congress which means he is an honest man. A throwback to Harry Truman when he retired and the state of Missouri built him a home because he was bankrupt. He did not use public office to enrich himself.

[JWinATL]

No, Romney's wife was diagnosed with MS as well as cancer. Think before you post. Just blathering along to say something derogatory about someone else is not productive. Honestly. I must say, even as a Republican (and having experienced a great deal of grief in a short time myself), I appreciate Biden's willingness to share. It helps us all.