Katie Couric's Notebook: Marrying Young

By: Katie Couric
Topics: Katie's Notebook

Video:
Notebook: Teen Marriage

Hi, everyone.

Should a girl go from picking out a prom dress...to picking a wedding dress?

More of them are. According to one poll, 84% of those between the ages of 17 and 23 say that they either support…or are, themselves, seriously considering…getting married young.

And they aren't just TALKING about it.

One Washington think-tank found that the number of married teenagers in the U.S. surged by almost 50% during the 1990's…leading to more divorce, more school drop-outs, and more domestic violence.

Experts say a renewed sense of cultural conservatism is behind some of these young marriages, with young people wanting more traditional lives than their rebellious baby boomer parents.

Everyone needs to make their own choices. But marriage is a BIG decision. You really need to know YOURSELF before you can be a good partner.

It's hard enough to fill that role when you're 47 -- let alone when you're 17.

That's a page from my notebook.

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by chrishartley December 13, 2006 2:54 PM EST: I think the divorce rate has more to do about your views of marriage than about your age when you get married. Too many people view marriage as a convenience that can be gotten into and out of easily.
I married at the age of 20; my husband was 19. We are celebrating our 15th anniversary next month. We were both in college, and highly motivated to graduate--which we did 2 years later. It has not been easy to get where we are and to stay happily married. It requires hard work and commitment. Marriage is not easy, but I have found that I am a much better person because of my husband. You should not get married just for the sake of being married, but because you find the one person who completes you.; Reply to this comment


by petersemkiw December 12, 2006 7:21 PM EST: I agree that everyone needs to make their own choices, and sometimes those choices may or may not be easy ones, for a wide variety of reasons. All I know is that last night I couldn't get to sleep at all, after reading this posting about Marrying Young,and reading all the interesting comments afterwards as well.Now all I can think about is finally getting married ---and quickly! I met the girl of my dreams about two months ago,but she doesn't seem to remember me from Adam.(Her name's not Eve, but she does like apples.)I even spoke to the Elders at the Church, and they seemed to like me, and I think they could arrange a marriage for me quickly. Now if I can only get that first date!; Reply to this comment


by cbelster December 12, 2006 3:22 AM EST: I do ;-); Reply to this comment


by happyjana December 12, 2006 1:37 AM EST: I know you said that everybody needs to make their own choices and I know that I am still young but I think people are so discouraging about marriage. I always thought I would get married older than I did but I got married when I was twenty and after two and a half years we still think it was good timing for us. We've been able to help each other accomplish goals and do them quicker. I know people who are older than me but haven't been married as long who say that marriage is so hard but for us it really hasn't been. We've got good jobs, we've bought a house and we're really happy. I know there are probably people reading this thinking, "Wait ten years," but our decision to get married young was not one based on an impulse, but a logical one as well as an emotional one. I used to tell my husband when we were dating that I had plans and I was not going to marry him but he has not hindered those plans, only added support. -Jana Roberts, LSW.; Reply to this comment


by baye13 December 12, 2006 12:06 AM EST: My Grandmother married at 17. Of course she started working at age 10!; Reply to this comment


by lorihoeks December 11, 2006 7:26 PM EST: This is disheartening to hear...marrying so young. Fulfilling our dreams and wishes is so much easier when we are single. Carrying ourselves to the next level is based on this foundation. Entering into a partnership as a well rounded individual helps a marriage have staying power.....but, this is America, land of the free. To each his own. As a never married 44 year old, I say, let life come to you.; Reply to this comment


by theanchores December 11, 2006 7:02 PM EST: Perhaps the era is simply breeding people who mature more slowly. In the first half of the 20th century values were different, a 19 or 20 year old was considered much more of an adult than they are now - likely they were also more mature - and people wed at younger ages and managed to make it work. Expectations are different today, too. That might have a lot to do with everything.; Reply to this comment


by one_american December 11, 2006 6:51 PM EST: I think it has less to do with age as it does with maturity; and age doesn't necessarily bring maturity, as the divorce rate, and the likes of the Hollywood scene surely indicates.; Reply to this comment


by pendragon679 December 11, 2006 5:15 PM EST: I couldn't agree more, Katie. I married for the first time at 30, to my college sweetheart. We were together for 10 years, married for just under 9; the divorce became final a week before what would have been our 9th anniversary. Five years later, I re-married & have never been happier. I've thought for years that first marriages should come with some sort of a 10-year "no-fault" clause; that is, if you can't make it work after 10 years, divvy up the property you've accumulated and just walk away. Then, re-build your lives & and start over.; Reply to this comment


by abrown22990 December 11, 2006 4:26 PM EST: I agree wholeheartedly. It is important to know yourself before embarking on the journey of marriage. I am a college senior and am STILL trying to figure out who I am.

A huge number of my peers are married or engaged....somewhere I can't even begin to imagine myself. I feel as if I have a lot more school and things to experience before I settle down!!; Reply to this comment