A dad's take on teen fatherhood

(CBS News) Father's Day has particular meaning for our contributor Luke Burbank:

Gaby Rodriguez, a teenager from Washington State, made headlines last year when she announced to her high school that she'd been pretending to be pregnant for the better part of a year, as a senior project.

The story grabbed my attention, because back in my high school days I was an actual teen parent.

Midway through my senior year my daughter Adelaide was born. I like to joke that I had a kid at such a young age because I felt "like it was time." Of course, nothing could have been further from the truth.

Luke Burbank with his daughter Addie.

/ Family photo

It was terrifying, and I figured I'd ruined my life before it had even started, though I guess the being terrified part is shared by all fathers, regardless of age.

Those early years were a learning experience, to be sure . . . full of disasters and surprises. Like most parents, I amazed myself with how bad - and occasionally, good - I could be at taking care of a small human life.

While our respective parents gave us incredible moral support, they weren't able to give us much in the way of financial support, and paying for this unplanned adventure in child-raising was no easy task. Somehow, though, we were able to make it work.

Addie's mother, who I was never romantically involved with, save for that fateful night after the Junior Prom, deserves most of the credit for dedicating nearly every waking second to the proposition that a couple of teen parents, who'd limited their own horizons to some degree, could raise a child who'd have unlimited options.

And it strikes me on this Father's Day that this is what being a parent is: The terrifying realization that there's no handbook for this stuff, and yet somehow figuring out how to fake it, until you make it.

Somewhere, in all the wet diapers and skinned knees, loose teeth and broken hearts, you realize that this is probably the only meaningful accomplishment of your time on this planet.

At least I know it's the best thing I've ever done.

Luke Burbank with his daughter Adelaide.

/ Family photo

My daughter's 18 now, older than we were when she was born, about to start her freshman year of college. She's smart, and funny, and lights up every room she walks into.

The conventional wisdom is that Gaby Rodriguez, the girl who faked a teen pregnancy, dodged a real bullet . . . and I guess she probably did.

But on this Father's Day, when I think about the amazing-ness of my kid, the product of actual teen parent-dom, I can't help but feel like Gaby has no idea what she missed out on.

[jeazha]

Geez, what's wrong with people. I don't consider myself to be anything but of average intelligence and even I could ascertain from this commentary what Luke was trying to say - and it wasn't that the poor girl missed out on anything. Hey Dummies

[runrealgood]

I really enjoyed the segment. It was very touching and heartwarming. Congrats Luke!

[russpoot]

EDITOR

" .. Addie's mother, who I was ..

w h o m

[Wen716]

Having known both Adelaide's mother AND Mr Burbank, I am literally sickened by this commentary. Personally, I find it incredibly irresponsible for Mr Burbank to comment on a subject he couldn't possibly know anything about.

Having a baby does not make you a dad any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. You earn Fatherhood by enduring the day in-day out, good, bad, and everything in between of being a present and involved part of your child's life.

Gaby knows exactly what she missed. I don't quite think that Mr Burbank does.

[freesitintime]

Reader Beware....Mr. Burbank is prone to embellishment.  

I am the mother of the child that Mr. Burbank is speaking of and not only do I, like many others who have commented, disagree with Mr. Burbank's position and opinions I would like to set the record straight with regards to his self-report of his involvement level and touted position as a "TEENAGE FATHER". First, Mr. Burbank and I have known each other since the 7th grade and I did not get pregnant after junior prom. He states himself we were not romantically involved - so how in the world would we have suddenly "co-parented" to raise a child.  Mr. Burbank was half way through his senior year in high school when our daughter was born and after high school he continued onto college. I am confused as to when it was exactly he claims he was a "father" to our daughter in those early years...he didn't live near her and was barely present in her young developmental years. He only saw her 2 times the first week after she was born and then not again until she was 16 months old!

He tells the truth when he admits that his parents did not financially assist us; but such is not true of my own parents who provided much more then "moral support". They provided me and our daughter with a place to live, clothing, food, medical care and other substantial and much needed financial assistance, "much needed" because Mr. Burbank refused to pay a dime of child support for the first 7 years of our daughter's life.  

Because I felt it was important that our daughter have a relationship with her father she has always had access to him, despite the fact that he was often off flittering around the country chasing one career endeavor or another. One glance at Mr. Burbank's resume would advise anyone that it was impossible for him to have been involved on any meaningful or consistent level in our daughter's life as he, for most of her life, did not live in the area.  

When our daughter was 7, I married and it is our daughter's step-father that deserves the praise. He is the one that has provided for her day to day needs, help to educate her in a private school, and got Mr. Burbank on the phone and demanded that he start contributing towards our daughter's financial needs. Even then, Mr. Burbank lied to us about his income convincing us to believe that he was barely squeaking by in life and that he could only pay a pittance in support. I recently learned that Mr. Burbank has earned well into the 6 digits for several years. His support should have been 3 to 4 times what he offered to pay. He has not paid medical expenses, daycare or extracurricular activity expenses incurred through out our daughter's life. This matter is currently being taken up in Court.  

The only truth in Mr. Burbank's commentary is that our daughter is AMAZING. She is headed to college...the cost of which is also a matter currently before the Court as Mr. Burbank does not believe he should be responsible for paying that expense either.  

The truth of the matter is that Mr. Burbank lives in fantasy land, filled with delusions of self-importance. This commentary is laughable. He has no experience as a teenage "father". He was a ***** teenage boy and I was an impressionable teenage girl looking for his attention. He took advantage of me...and left. Mr. Burbank is a weekend Disneyland Dad whom I have had to continually struggle with to help financially support his daughter. He should be ashamed of himself.

[steppincloser]

As freesitintime's long-time best friend since high school and neighbor through the first several years of Adelaide's life - I can testify that what freeitintime claims is 100% accurate. If anything, Adelaide was raised by 2 teenage GIRLS (rather than ever a teenage dad). It sickens me that he has not been more financially supportive over the years when he has had a quite successive career in radio and broadcasting...whereas I watched my sweet best friend give up so many of her dreams to put Adelaide first and provide for her time and time again. The only credit I'll give Luke is providing some decent genes that helped make Adelaide the gorgeous girl she is today. And for the young lady that she's turned out to be - she deserves a lot of the credit herself because she is a driven, soft-hearted, intelligent and beautiful woman who I'm over-the-moon proud of.

[formerfan2013]

I completely confirm that all above is accurate and that Luke has been extremely fiscally negligent in support. If anyone cared enough to care, they could easily learn that Luke paid a fraction of what he should have in child support and was absent for the first year and a half of Addie's life. He has been milking this story for basically 16 years now and is a sham. I commend Adde's mother for her comments and back her whole-heartedly. Luke is nothing but a shameful windbag.

[formerfan2013]

Feel free to contact me if you would like pursue getting some of the money that Luke owes you and Addie, TS. You can contact me via my email which is my [e-mail]. You are correct in that he was incredibly dishonest about his financial situation and never provided adequate monetary support.

[Larry_Chicago]

Firstly sincere thanks to Mr. Burbank for seeing through a demanding and very difficult challenge. I admire his success and can understand his obvious natural love and pride of his child.
Secondly his presentation borders on the horribly irresponsible, to wit: to glorify and sing praises of uneducated, single parent, adolescent pregnancies. One of the worst scourges of society and an event that lays a firm cornerstone in the vicious circle of poverty, illiteracy, violence and premature death that plagues inner cities in America. Chicago unfortunately being a prime example: our two consecutive June weekends with over 3 dozen shootings each weekend - over 10 dead. Gang violence, yes, but look closer to the common thread: poverty, illiteracy, violence stemming in good part from a non-existent but critical nuclear family structure.
Ms Rodriguez is incredibly lucky NOT to have fallen into that horrible destiny: she can now complete her education, establish herself as a strong and independent person, search out the ideal partner and welcome a large number of wonderful children into a secure and promising environment. Doesn't catch your eye for a 3 minute video piece, but infinitely better than the alternative. Listen, bad things can still happen in a secure environment, but let's keep this in context!

[Deathlimits]

My parents had me at an earlier age. It is a hard task, and I definitely don't recommend people do this because most fail and ruin their children's life. Good for him though, just like my parents, he's one of the few people on Earth capable of doing this.

[KPeters_from_UK]

I can't help but feel like Gaby has no idea what she missed out on.
_________________________________

Great article until that last sentence.

Being a teenage parent is so much more difficult the young you are. There is less money, the young parents have less time if they want to continue their education, and they tend to be too immature due to lack of life experience. This guy is damn lucky he had parents who obviously were supportive. He is also lucky he had a house to live in. And he is lucky that his partner, the young mother was also willing and able. Most teenagers are not equipped to be the type of parent he tuned out to be and they tend to be resentful and and neglectful.

There was a recent study on MSNBC where a collation between teenage motherhood and low earnings was strong. Do we really want to encourage young people especially female teenagers to be parents?

[OnTheCrown]

Glad to see that he didn't follow the path of many others who found themselves in a similar difficult situation and took the "easy way" out.

[MegaProcrastination]

""""I can't help but feel like Gaby has no idea what she missed out on.""""

I didn't see that comment at all like so many of you, to me it looks more like a bit of pondering.