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A word to all you pets about Halloween
Is it wrong to dress up the little ones for Halloween? In some cases, yes ... says our contributor Conor Knighton:
Dogs and cats of America, come towards the TV. On behalf of all humans, I would like to apologize for what's going to happen to you tomorrow.
Today, you nap peacefully, blissfully unaware that, in 24 short hours, you will be forced to dress up like cowboys and princesses.
I know it's degrading to have to walk around as a taco or a caveman. They're NO WAY that can be comfortable.
I can only IMAGINE the identity issues this raises for you. You spend all year being told you're a "good dog," and then we want you to be ... a bee? A chicken? A frog? A stegosaurus?
Those of you who are ESPECIALLY unlucky will get dressed as your sworn enemy. How are other cats supposed to take you seriously when you're dressed as a DOG? And vice-versa?
You didn't even like "Shrek," and now you have to waddle around the neighborhood as him!
I wish I could save you from tomorrow. I do. But I'm afraid dressing animals up in ridiculous costumes is human nature.
I can sympathize. When I was little, my parents dressed me us as a little newspaper reporter.
And the baby on the Pampers Box.
But you know what? I put up with it. They gave me food, water, shelter, and unconditional love. So, it seemed like a fair trade.
And your owner - yes, the one dressed up as a sexy kitten - well, they love you, too!
So, just the people have their fun.
It's only once a year. Pose for a couple of pictures, maybe do a trick.
I promise you'll get a treat!
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