Barbed humor from Obama at annual Gridiron dinner

President Barack Obama walks with Chief of Staff Denis McDonough, right, as they leave the Gridiron Dinner through a loading area at a hotel in Washington, Saturday, March 9, 2013. / AP Photo/Charles Dharapak
Updated 11:53 PM ET
WASHINGTON President Barack Obama had a ready excuse for anyone who didn't think he was funny enough at Saturday night's Gridiron dinner: "My joke writers have been placed on furlough."
Always a target for humorous barbs, the president tossed out a few of his own during the Gridiron Club and Foundation dinner, an annual event that features political leaders, journalists and media executives poking fun at each other.
The so-called sequester that struck the federal budget this month drew another observation from Obama: "Of course, there's one thing in Washington that didn't get cut the length of this dinner. Yet more proof that the sequester makes no sense."
The ambitions of 70-year-old Vice President Joe Biden? "Just the other day, I had to take Joe aside and say, `Joe, you are way too young to be the pope. You can't do it. You got to mature a little bit."'
During a pause in his remarks, Obama took a long, slow sip of water and then said, "That, Marco Rubio, is how you take a sip of water."
Obama also mocked criticism from some quarters that he takes time off from his job. "We face major challenges. March in particular is going to be full of tough decisions. But I want to assure you, I have my top advisers working around the clock. After all, my March Madness bracket isn't going to fill itself out. And don't worry there is an entire team in the Situation Room as we speak, planning my next golf outing, right now at this moment."
The dinner was the organization's 128th since its founding in 1885. Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar represented the Democrats while Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal cracked wise for the Republicans.
Klobuchar joked that Obama had aged in office. "His Secret Service name used to be `Renegade,"' she said. "Now it's `50 Shades of Gray."'
Jindal took a poke at Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, telling the audience that Romney had warned him that "47 percent of you can't take a joke." Referring to his own prospects for a presidential run, Jindal asked, "What chance does a skinny guy with a dark complexion have of being elected president?"
Political disputes and feuds between politicians and the news media provided plenty of fodder for jokes and Gridiron parodies. There was Obama's sometimes frosty relationship with the news media, the internal struggles roiling the Republican Party, and journalist Bob Woodward's dustup with White House economic adviser Gene Sperling. He advised Woodward in an email that the veteran Watergate reporter would regret his reporting about the forced spending cuts called a sequester.
In prepared remarks to welcome the 650 people attending the dinner, Gridiron President Charles J. Lewis of Hearst Newspapers noted that the organization had promised to keep the evening short, "especially because Gene Sperling said that a late night is something we'd all regret."
With a nod to print reporters' complaints about dealing with the Obama administration, Lewis said he thought he had overhead Obama remark on the way to the dinner: "So many newspaper reporters. So many interviews to turn down."
Musical skits are a tradition at the Gridiron dinner, and club officials released its musical program ahead of the event. Using the Beatles song "When I'm 64," one skit featured a look at Hillary Rodham Clinton's future with the lyrics:
Got a bit older, Growing my hair, Gained a pound or two
Going home to vegetate in Chappaqua, I just want to be a grandma
It was more than a case of Benghazi flu, Still I'll be just fine.
Will you select me, will you elect me, When I'm 69
Noting the close relationship between the GOP and the National Rifle Association, Gridiron members sang a tune called "My Gun," a takeoff on the song "My Girl." The lyrics included:
If you hate the NRA/Tell my Walther PPK
You're flirting with disaster/With my Bushmaster
And when pigs fly away/You can take me away
From my gun
In a jab at Obama, the Gridiron players offered a version of "Pinball Wizard" that put to music complaints about some journalists' lack of access to the president:
Who knew when his magic/First had us all transfixed
That this politician/Hated politics?
Loves his teleprompter, loves a White House ball
But mighty Obama/Don't schmooze with us at all.
The Gridiron Club and Foundation contributes to college scholarships and journalistic organizations. It limits its active members to 65 journalists based in Washington.
Except for Grover Cleveland, every president since the Gridiron was founded has addressed it. The club is the oldest and most exclusive for Washington journalists. Its motto is "singe but never burn."
No TV cameras were allowed.
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However, The President cannot blame that last Administration forever for his economic, social or whatever short comings he faces. It's common knowledge Republican Congress is doing it's damndest to thwart his efforts , the voters expect him to do whatever it takes to oil the economic and sial wheel of government going, and not fall into the failure trap his political foes have laid for him.
"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the US Government cannot pay its own bills.
It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government's reckless fiscal policies.
Increasing America's debt weakens us domestically and internationally.
Leadership means that, 'the buck stops here.' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren.
America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better."
~ Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006
Seriously people do the math. When you have Homeland Security racking up Billions of dollars for thousands of people employed to protect this country as of 911 thereafter ... And that the people of this country are treated like enemies of the state. i.e. drones ... Airports treating citizens like criminals ... I think we all need to get a clue!
Just in 2011 alone, Homeland security was allocated 98.8 Billion dollars
200,000 employees
Do we really need this ?? Does fear run the gamut in how people go along with the Bush administration's media hype from the White House? I am not talking about Obama's presidency ... I am talking about the Bush Administration ruthless unconscionable tactics with countries around the world right after 911. These countries we are or had been recently in war with ... had nothing to do with why we went to war in the first place. Many civilians died and so did many servicemen and service women who fought for our freedom. The better question is; Did these Service men and women fight for "War Machine Companies"? Profiteering off of wars was a big business conspiracy.
The war machine industry had made sure it had a high powered individual placed in the White House as he was their influential VP, Dick Cheney who provided war machine companies with contracts without bidding. These same war machine companies made vast amount of profits for which Dick Cheney was on many of the Boards of these same companies. The conflict of interest was overshadowed by the fact that the Bush administration put gag orders on many of the media people who were flagging the improprieties as well as many of the news agencies and newspapers were owned by well-established Republicans that went along with the Bush administration ideologies. War mongers!
Well this is where all the surplus monies of the Clinton administration went ...and when that money ran out ... It is coming out of your pocket as tax paying citizens.
End
Well I went to Google and I asked the question ...
In the 8 years W. Bush was in office he took 977 days 32% time off. Obama really has not come close to that number ... Thank God for the Internet to bring some things into the "Light" ... People like to say BS about Obama ... but George could not hold a candle to this man ... The point is VP Cheney ran this country into disarray and no one seems to see that he is the reason why we were went to war. Cheney wanted the war machine companies to profit because he in return, profited. ...When the boss is away the VP was in play. People should take notice because George was at the ranch playing "Cowboy" while Dick was sticking it to this country. Just ask Valerie Plame ...
Some men can't become president on their own adversity ... so they hire a surrogate possible President in "Name Only" ... Dick Cheney would have never been nominated for President by the Republicans because he had a "Draconian" reputation that would have been intelligibly reckoned with by the media but since he was aiming at the number 2 seat ... no one noticed. Most VP's in the United States have no power, unless the president is incapacitated ... But during the Bush administration years Cheney had more clout than W. Bush and it was clearly apparent.
This is my view but a lot of historians will see it this way soon enough.
and Camp David. All of these locations were already equipped as "presidential retreats" meaning that there was no "set-up" required. Bush never rented out entire hotels, seaside resorts, or mansions. He also didn't fly entourages including his mother-in-law and children's classmates to exotic locations, or hire private aircraft to transport the family pet. And how, after all this time, you don't know that it was richard armitrage who "outted" valerie plame is rather incredible.
The point is he was "Missing in Action" ... When he was supposed to be in his job he wasn't. And most of the time he had a Whisky glass in his hand ... "So what does that tell you" ... Dick Cheney was behind this man and Dick Cheney dude was the one who outed "Valerie Plame" ... these people don't do their own dirty work ... but I guess you haven't figured that out yet ... have you?
Don't be so blind sighted by an unfair justice in this country ... The people who went down are really stooges to Elitists who hire out so no one points the finger at them.
The "Republicans" lack the "Integrity" and taking responsibility ... much like FOX news ... scramble it up and most Americans will eat it!
The political climate: It's changing now and even FOX news is losing it's Sheeple audiance since ROM Knee didn't win the election like they were all told he would. Is it not amazing how the media and the exit polls ... any polls pre-election didn't pan out for ROM Knee ... like if you "manifest a win" it will happen "Ya ... RA-RA" ...
Maybe in the old days ... but now the Magic has done an about face. People are sick of the BS Wealthy Elities amking decisions for them while the Elite sit on their ***** doing nothing but making it hard for an honest (wo)man making a living to survive.
We are all slaves ... but we have power ... and when ROM Knee lost ... That power became a realization for a party "Republican Party" that is doomed for extinction unless they change their hard ass ways.
No matter if it's God, Buddha, or Allah it's Hell, Naraka, or Jahannan I think we got them all covered.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Having said that, I think we have three paths into the future: (1) Everyone will have privacy, including control over their personal data. (2) No one will have any privacy. (3) Rich and powerful people will hide their data while using ours to manipulate and even enslave everyone else. Sadly, we seem to be wandering down Path (3).