Lindsay Lohan won't be charged in NY club fight, attorney predicts

Lindsay Lohan attends a dinner celebrating the premiere of "Liz & Dick" on Nov. 20, 2012, in Beverly Hills, Calif. / AP

Signing paperwork at a New York courthouse on Monday, Mark Jay Heller, Lindsay Lohan's attorney, predicted there will be no case against the actress in connection with an alleged fight at a Manhattan nightclub.

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Lindsay Lohan

Office of Court Administration spokesman David Bookstaver confirmed that a criminal complaint has not been drawn up at this time. The district attorney's office said only that the investigation is continuing.

Lohan was charged with misdemeanor assault in the Nov. 29 incident at Club Avenue.

The "Mean Girls" and "Liz & Dick" star allegedly struck Tiffany Mitchell, 28, of Palm Beach, Fla., in the face during an argument at the trendy lounge in Manhattan's Chelsea district.

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Lohan's lawyer predicts no charges in club fight

At the time of her arrest, her attorney, Mark Heller, said Lohan was "a victim of someone trying to capture their 15 minutes of fame."

In September, she was involved in an NYPD investigation after alleging a man assaulted her in a hotel. Charges against the man were later dropped.

It was just one of many legal issues Lohan has faced this year.

In December, a Los Angeles judge revoked her probation and scheduled a violation hearing for Jan. 15 that could result in more jail time for the 26-year-old star.

Lohan had attempted to get her career back on track at the start of last year, posing for Playboy and starring in "Liz & Dick." The Lifetime movie, though, wasn't greeted favorably by fans or critics when it premiered in November.

[HobartSchmenge]

Lindsay Lohan is traveling from New York to Toronto for the shooting of her latest movie. Fifteen minutes into the flight the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry...we can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry...we still have one engine left."

Lindsay Lohan turned to the man seated next to her and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

[HobartSchmenge]

How about this one:

After a short, scandalous life of partying and reckless driving, Lindsay Lohan arrives at the Pearly Gates and is greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome! He says. "Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only permit a limited number of souls to enter Heaven. Therefore, you must take a short, oral quiz and answer all of my questions correctly in order to gain entrance. "Ok," says Lindsay Lohan.
"Here's your question: Name two day of the week that begin with the letter T."
"That's easy --Today and Tomorrow!"
"Well, that wasn't what I was thinking of," says St. Peter, "but I'll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?"
"That's easy - twelve!"
"Twelve?"
"January second, February second, March second..."
"Ok, ok. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Let me give you one more chance. What is God's true name?"
"That's easy - Howard!"
"Howard?"
"You know. 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."

[HobartSchmenge]

Q: Why does Lindsay Lohan write "TGIF" on top of all her shoes? A: To remind her that "Toes Go In First."

[akibeel]

At some point this cat's nine lives will be up...