Mermaids do not exist, says NOAA

The Little Mermaid / Disney

(CBS News) In sad news for land-starved sailors all across the seven seas, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has issued a report stating that there are no such things as mermaids.

"No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found," the NOAA said in a statement. (Is "aquatic humanoids" the politically correct term?)

This unusual release comes in response to the television show "Mermaids: The Body Found" on Animal Planet. The show itself is a work of fiction, but confused viewers have apparently been questioning the NOAA to put the matter to rest.

Discovery News reported on the Animal Planet show (both branches of the Discovery Channel corporation) calling it a "documentery-style" show. They write: "Though the filmmakers acknowledged that the film is science fiction, for many people it was indeed 'wildly convincing.' The show was an 'X-Files' type fanciful mix of state-of-the-art computer animation, historical fact, conspiracy theory and real and faked footage sprinkled with enough bits of scientific speculation and real science to make it seem plausible."

These scientific sprinkles were not enough for the NOAA, and the official word is that no mermaids exist or ever existed. Though the statement from the organization does indulge in a small trip through the mythology:

The belief in mermaids may have arisen at the very dawn of our species. Magical female figures first appear in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans gained dominion over the land and, presumably, began to sail the seas. Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology -- in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few.

[neutroniumranger]

You can believe that an old irate man sits in the clouds and judges you. But something like this is 'fake' ??

[hypnotoad72]

But they track Santa every year!

Here's a gem from 2002:
http://www.publicaffairs.noaa.gov/releases2002/dec02/noaa02166.html

And 2000:

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewpr.html?pid=3379

[Bojax39]

"the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has issued a report stating that there are no such things as mermaids."

Can't believe there are people so gullible and stupid they need an authority to state the obvious.

[hypnotoad72]

Well, I knew something was fishy all along...

HEY-OOOH!

[kings657]

I can't believe there are such closed minded people who must completely reject everything without first hand experience.

[raebabe2]

I believe it could be possible...If some of the black bears went into the water and over time evolved into Polar Bears that why couldn't the same hold true fro humans. Why does the government feel the need to hide the research? I also believe the US government loves to cover things up. Years ago my cousin was witness to a plane crash over the water of LI...she made a statement saying something flew into it...but the government was at her door step making sure "that's not what you really had seen...right?"

Maybe a mermaid doesn't exist but perhaps there is a certain sea life that may appear to human. I think if its true it would an amazing finding.

[Bojax39]

by raebabe2: If some of the black bears went into the water and over time evolved into Polar Bears that why couldn't the same hold true fro humans."

Because humans wouldn't put up with "prune skin" long enough to evolve, that's why. :-)

[hypnotoad72]

And, according to "Futurama", caffeine hastened the metamorphosis! :)

But in seriousness, mermaids were probably envisioned by drunken, deprived sailors who saw reflections or shimmering images under the water's surface.

[cbwlsw]

Whats the diff.They can not stop evolution,they can not rewrite or devolve history or stop the sightings. We all have freedom of speech say what you will be honest & (TELL THE TRUTH) or lie straight through your teeth to the world. They had a mermaid or what ever technical name you want to call it in captivity and it died &they were not done w/ it & that's the real reason why they stupidly killed half the ocean to find another one and it worked more than one was discovered. mermaids were discovered before our government was even built.
I do not understand why these people TRY to cover these things up ,
by doing so they destroy their very own creditability. If you believe any thing they say than you are the one who is fooled ,by their corrupt,crumbling , embarrassing & insaulting lies I honestly & truly don't believe any thing they say anymore at all . If these people told you to jump off a tall building w/ no protection at all & You'd live, would you do it ?? NO !so w.t.f come on people ,you all know we are not alone,and If you believe we are than, .I assume you think it makes life easier for you who choose not to ,evolve & use the other half of your brain !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Navyliars1]

Ok first of all not only is the government now saying the show was fiction when everyone that first saw it knows it was not. Now they made nooa write on their website that there are no mermaids. Come on ! It never ceases to amaze me in how far the us gov is willing to go to cover things up . Do they really think that people that know the truth are not going to realize that just like the navy shut down nooa research into sonar weapons testing , they shut down the belief in mermaids program, called it fiction ,then made nooa post on the web that they don't exist, how very convient ! All so they can keep on harming whales and dolphins and possibly a species so closely linked to humans. It's so sad! As far as the press goes you people are just as awful for helping them spread lies ! People aren't as dumb as you think and the world where things like this matter and structure shall fall is coming . so get ready ! Idiots!

[kings657]

I believe it could be possible but dont point fingers when you dont have evidence. Nobody believes in what there cant see. The government is corupt in some ways but until you know more you cant conclude anything.

[jbcc]

And the Government never lies AVER. Just look at how honest Obama is he would never tell a lie. NOT

[hypnotoad72]

We all know politicians lie. Or at least don't tell the full truth.

But why did people believe Obama more than Romney? Trying to tell Americans about creating jobs while running a company that only massages capital by offshoring jobs didn't convince enough people...

People don't vote for the biggest liars. The vote for who they see lies the least. Or they vote because the candidate looks prettier. Not many look at all the facts, and most think that "voting third party is a wasted vote" when - in reality - our system allows for more than two major parties and it is up to the candidate to convince enough people that (s)he makes the best leader. So it boils down to a number of issues, some more shallow and frivolous than others. For the only wasted votes either either not cast, or cast toward the person who looks prettier.

[Scimajor]

Marcello Truzzi said it best:

"An extraordinary claim requires extraordinary proof."

Wouldn't it be lovely if people used this simple truism in their daily lives?

[heroine17]

Not to pull the realistic side of intelligence on you but, Is seeing really believing? if you watch a magician do a magic trick right in front of you, we all still believe its not really "Magic". So i think even when we all have proof right in front of our noses we won't believe it.

[ZZMike]

Finally!!! The science is settled!!!

[Bush-cheney-R-Terrorists]

Excuse me, but NOAA is not in charge of Mermaid information dissemination. That would be the NMO. The National Mermaid Office, and they are remaining very quiet on this issue if you'll notice.

[lonestar9000]

Bigfoot is laughing his a** off at all the gullible people who believe in mermaids.

[rwsmith29456]

Ariel and Bigfoot are involved in a romance that alas, can never be. That guy they call Bigfin muscled in and now they are raising a school of Merbrats.