First grade transgender girl barred from school bathroom

FOUNTAIN, Colo.Jeremy and Kathryn Mathis didn't think much at first when their son Coy took his sister's pink blanket, and shunned the car they gave him for Christmas.

Then, Coy told them he only wanted to wear girls' clothes. At school, he became upset when his teacher insisted he line up with the boys. All the while, he was becoming depressed and withdrawn, telling his parents at one point he wanted to get "fixed" by doctors.

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Transgender 1st-grader banned from using girls' restroom

When the Mathises learned he had gender identity disorder -- a condition in which someone identifies as the opposite gender -- they decided to help Coy live as a girl. And suddenly, she came out of her shell.

"We could force her to be somebody she wasn't, but it would end up being more damaging to her emotionally and to us because we would lose the relationship with her," Kathryn Mathis said. "She was discussing things like surgery and things like that before and she's not now, so obviously we've done something positive."

Now, her family is locked in a legal battle with the school district in Fountain, a town 82 miles south of Denver, over where 6-year-old Coy should go to use the bathroom -- the girls' room or, as school officials suggest, one in the teachers' lounge or another in the nurse's office. Her parents say using anything other than the girls' bathroom could stigmatize her, and open her up to bullying.

Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 declined to comment, citing a complaint filed on behalf of the Mathises with the Colorado Office of Civil Rights that alleges a violation of the state's anti-discrimination law. School officials, however, sent a letter to the family, explaining their decision to prevent Coy from using the girls' bathroom at Eagleside Elementary, where she is a first-grader.

"I'm certain you can appreciate that as Coy grows older and his male genitals develop along with the rest of his body, at least some parents and students are likely to become uncomfortable with his continued use of the girls' restroom," the letter read.

"We were very confused and frustrated because it was going so well. There hadn't been anything that had gone wrong," Mathis told CBS Denver.

School districts in many states, including Colorado, have enacted policies that allow transgender students to use the bathroom of the gender with which they identify. Sixteen states, including Colorado, have anti-discrimination laws that include protections for transgender people.

Legal battles such as the one the Mathises are facing are rare, said Michael Silverman of the New York-based Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund who is representing the Mathises. He sees about a dozen cases each year. Silverman refers most cases to social workers who work with districts to work out a solution to a well-recognized medical condition.

Psychologists don't know what causes the condition, but it was added to the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual in 1980 - some three decades after the psychological concept of gender began to be developed.

The manual's fifth edition, due out in May, changes the name to Gender Dysphoria - which refers to the distress from the gender conflict -- partly out of concerns that the current name is stigmatizing, said Dr. Jack Drescher, a New York psychiatrist who serves on the working group that suggested the changes.

Supporters of the APA's move equated the change with removing homosexuality as a mental illness from the diagnostic manual decades ago.

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There's no consensus on how to treat it in somebody Coy's age because of a lack of data on the disorder in prepubescent children. Research suggests that many children gradually become "comfortable with their natal gender," an APA task force reported in 2011. But the goal of any treatment should be to help the child adjust to its reality, the APA said.

Coy is a triplet, with a brother, Max, and a sister, Lily. At 5 months old, Coy was already expressing a preference for items associated with girls, the Mathises recalled. A friend gave them baby blankets, and Coy took a pink blanket meant for Lily. The Mathises didn't think too much of it.

They bought Coy toys normally associated with boys, but she showed little interest. While Max was excited when Coy opened her Christmas present in 2009 to find a toy car from the Disney movie "Cars," Coy simply set it down and walked away.

As Coy got older, she found and wore her older sister's bathing suit, which had fringe that made it look like a tutu. Still they pressed on in raising a boy, encouraging Coy to wear boy clothes and bought shirts that had pictures of sports, monsters and dinosaurs on them. She showed little interest, and refused to leave the house if she had to wear boy's clothes.

It didn't bother her father, an ex-Marine, that Coy liked to wear pink bows and dress up in girls clothes. That is, until Coy insisted on leaving the house with them on.

"She would see the stereotypical outfits laid out and then get this look of defeat and then would go, 'I'd just rather stay home,'" her mother said. "It wasn't about the pink. It was about people knowing she was a girl."

When Coy asked to be taken to the doctor to be "fixed," they took her to a psychologist who diagnosed her.

Coy started kindergarten in August 2011 but once the Mathises learned that Coy's behavior wasn't a phase, they allowed her to wear dresses and identify herself as a girl in the middle of the school year. The withdrawn child who was lagging behind in school began to flourish.

In kindergarten, the children used unisex bathrooms. Last fall, in first grade, the district allowed her to use the girls' bathroom. But then they told the Mathises that Coy would have to either use the staff bathroom or the one in the nurse's office starting in January. Coy is being home-schooled now, along with her siblings, while the issue is being litigated.

The family hopes that the district will reconsider, especially since using the bathroom is done in private anyway, and that Coy isn't stigmatized by being forced to use a different bathroom than her peers.

"The doctor's bathroom is only for sick people and I'm not sick," said Coy, wearing white tights, a red dress and sweater and sitting on the living room couch at her house as her siblings played a computer game nearby at the kitchen table.

The Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund is assisting Coy's family with the filing of the complaint, according to CBS Denver.

The Fountain-Fort Carson School District 8 released a statement to the network.

"The parents of Coy Mathis have filed a charge of discrimination with the Colorado Division of Civil Rights. They have chosen to publicize this matter by appearing on a nationally televised show with their child, sharing their point of view with national and local media, and holding a public press conference to announce the filing of the charge. The District firmly believes it has acted reasonably and fairly with respect to this issue. However, the District believes the appropriate and proper forum for discussing the issues identified in the charge is through the Division of Civil Rights process. The District is preparing a response to the charge which it will submit to the Division. Therefore, the District will not comment further on this matter out of respect for the process which the parents have initiated."

[shadophax]

Bathrooms aren't based on feelings, they are based on anatomy. That is why the girl's room has tampons for sale and the men's has urinals available. If you are not going to base it on anatomy, then why separate them at all? I think Coy using the girls room is not fair to the biological girls in the school. Coy isn't more important than anyone else, and if "she" has an issue, she can use the staff bathroom that they offered. That is just reasonable. It is unreasonable to me, to suggest putting biological males in the girls room.

[annkasper22]

I understand your point of view that restrooms are based on gender. However, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... it is usually a duck. I am female and have used female restrooms my whole life. Therefore I know that ALL female restrooms have stalls and almost always have locks. Unless this little girl (born male) was flaunting their genitals around the restroom it should make no difference other than the fact that the child feels a sense of comfort which is something a child should have especially in school at such a young age. I personally see this issue as discrimination towards a young child who cannot help how she feels. If you have never seen the movie "The Help" you should. It might enlighten you on bathroom discrimination in a slightly different manner of course but is realistically the same thing. Again, this child cannot help how she feels on the inside and the fact that the child opted for surgery at such a young age because she feels so strongly about her gender should be more than enough to convince any open-minded person that this is not a matter of a boy using a girls bathroom.

[Brooke-ler]

Okay. Let me educate you something about bathrooms. There are stalls. They are stalls. THERE ARE STALLS. WHICH NO BODY SEES WHAT'S GOING ON IN!

Hell, maybe we shouldn't let lesbians in the girls bathroom because they might try to **** other girls. Then we can't let them in the locker room because they'll look at other girls and get turned on. OH! What about the girls on their periods that are a bit *****? We shouldn't let them in there either. Oh. Then... You see what I'm doing?

Now what makes you guys think that a child, who has been a girl since they were born, is going to want to **** some girl in the bathroom. Because that's what I'm getting from your concerns.

Again to the stalls. Those stalls have locks. And unless you stare into the stall or over the stall, you don't ******* see what's going on. Or what they have. Okay. There is nothing bad that's going to happen if that child uses the girls bathroom.

Last of all, you idiots, it's not your concern. It's not your child. That child is a girl. DEAL WITH IT! I hate the fact that Taylor Swift is dating a billion guys but guess what, It ain't hurting me so I'm not worrying. This child being a girl isn't hurting you so you shouldn't ******* care.

[briteis]

Is this how Friday the 13th started out. Jason is a little boy who's Mom dressed up like a girl and sent him to camp? Or do I have the wrong movie?

[1not4obama]

This is ridiculous. He is a child. He should be wearing boy clothes and taught that he is a boy and will be treated like a boy. He may be interested in girly things, but he is still a boy. Maybe there are other underlying issues. Jealousy of his sister etc. As far as the restroom, he is a boy and should use the boys restroom. If he wants to play dress up, that should be kept at home. After all he is pretending he is a girl. What happens when he is 10 and decides he is a boy again, just flip back. People seem to forget this is a 6 year old. I know 6 year old children who think they are super hero's. So do we create the illusion that they are? Or explain you are not a super hero, but you can pretend to be. What if he thought he was a puppy? Would you let him run around naked, eat dog food and potty in the yard?

[Brooke-ler]

This is ridiculous. YOU PEOPLE are telling a CHILD what THEY ARE and what THEY AREN'T. I believed that I was a witch when I was a child, and guess what. My parents didn't care. They let me be a witch. They let me run around, pretending that I could do spells. Anywhere. They allowed me out dressed as a witch. I was nine. SHE wants to be a girl. So SHE will be a girl. She is six. So she probably can't get surgery. But guess what, if she still is a girl, in ten years, she can. And there are stalls in the bathrooms. Nobody is going to even notice that she was born a guy. Who the **** cares actually? You shouldn't care what a child wants to be. Because it's not your child and not hurting you. If it was your child, you can force them to be their gender and ruin their life. Because I know a lot of people who don't feel accepted by their parents because they aren't the gender they were born. And to your last statement, how the hell does gender and being a dog have to relate? I get the fact of being born that way and you can't be the other. But, gender and what you are (like a human or dog or cat or something) is TWO totally DIFFERENT things.

[sicofthebs]

HE did not make the choice to be a girl; HIS mother and father raised him to be a girl. So much for a stable family unit. HE is too young to make a conscious decision about something as complex as HIS gender. You need to be a parent and when you have a child who is born with a ***** Voila it's a boy. If HE chooses to change it up when he is old enough to think about it and decide for HIMSELF so be it. You fail as a parent if you choose for HIM. If I tell my child HE is a bunny and he needs to punch people in the groin from the time he is born guess what he will want to do when he is older.

[Jonseen]

There are cases where a child is born with both male and female parts. This child looks like a girl, actually. The way she/he holds fingers and toes, the way she moves... she has natural, unaffected female mannerisms. I'm kinda wondering what's going on with this child biologically. There may be some physical reasons for it.

I think your assessment of this family is rather harsh.

[Brooke-ler]

Her parents didn't raise her as a girl, they tried to raise her like a boy but gave up because, she wants to be a girl.

[Ulgnud]

This is a boy pretending to be a girl. He can use the boys bathroom along with all the other boys. His Parents need a swift kick in the behind for catering to this nonsense,

[rzarc2]

Ulgnud, once again you prove yourself to be a Neanderthal, which is of course unfair to Neanderthal's. I suppose next you will tell us a 6 year old "chose" to be a girl. Must have been reading too many liberal rags right? LMAOff at you Idiot.

[Ulgnud]

RZAC. It is still a boy pretending to be a girl. Insults and name calling won't change the fact. Sorry you don't like it. Too Bad.

[memphispiano]

How many millions of boys have gone through a phase where they wanted to dress up like girls or play with dolls, etc? It's a normal occurrence and their parents put up with it for a short while and then guide them to their proper identification. The difference here is that our society is so messed up that everyone is afraid to give guidance because political correctness is so out of control. That is what parents are supposed to do. If you honestly think this 6 year old child can determine all the thing which are best for HIM, you are nuts!

[Ryker99169]

I stand by Coy. If she chooses to be a girl I support her in this. I wish her the best of luck in her challenges ahead. In addition I think its wonderful that her parents are standing by her side in all of this.

[Brooke-ler]

OH MY GOD. FINALLY. SOME ONE THAT...

LETS A KID BE A KID AND WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BE?!

... /Clapping\ I love you. You are a good person.

I stand by Coy too. She can be a girl if she wants to.

[superfly885]

The parents are morons and should be neutered so they can never reproduce again. The kid is a male and is too young to have civil rights issues and self-contemplation about what gender they feel they should be. Props to the school. Just more losers looking for an easy payout.

[rzarc2]

Read my comment in response to Ulgnud above. It covers you as well.

[rwsmith29456]

That's a great idea. Punishing a child for having natural feelings.