Val Patterson of Utah uses his self-written, light-hearted obituary to confess his sins

This undated family photo from the Starks Funeral Home's memorial page for Val Patterson, shows Patterson with his wife, Mary Jane. / Starks Funeral Home

(CBS/AP) SALT LAKE CITY - A 59-year-old Utah man who wrote his own obituary before he died last week used the opportunity to come clean.

Friends and family of Val Patterson learned Sunday that the man they thought held a doctorate from the University of Utah received the degree thanks to a paperwork mistake and that he never even graduated.

Patterson died from throat cancer on July 10. KSL-TV reports he wrote his own death notice in the first person last fall.

"What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail," explains Patterson in his obituary, published in the Salt Lake Tribune.

The light-hearted obituary also includes a confession to stealing a business' safe.

"As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971," Patterson confesses, posthumously.

He also addressed Disneyland and SeaWorld San Diego in the obit, telling them "you can now throw away that 'Banned for Life' file you have on me, I'm not a problem anymore."

His widow, Mary Jane, told KSL-TV the confessions are true.

[wayinslc]

When I was a kid in the 1960's, I gave my dad an exploding cigar for his birthday. He put it in his mouth and lit it, it exploded right away. He had a crappy look on his face after it exploded but he thought it was funny. I think Mr. Patterson's orange cadillac sounds funny. Since when do you find an orange cadillac? Lol

[Ulgnud]

If he never used the PhD as a credential when looking for work it is entirely possible the employer would not have checked up on it.

[slouise217]

There's no way his "confessions" are true. One doesn't get a job that requires a PhD simply because one has a degree - one must also have the schooling that backs up that degree. In addition, the assertions about being banned from multiple theme parks sounds totally bogus. This guy was a practical joker, even when he was dying. Any sane, intelligent person can tell this. I mean, really, he "rolled rocks" into a geyser? It's not possible, especially into "Old Faithful", and it never "stopped working", and so it's not possible that they got it back working again!!! Really, so many gullible people!

[Ulgnud]

In general I would agree with you. However there are sure a lot of "educated" idiots out there.

[pwm522]

Wow.....aren't YOU the "authority" on....EVERYTHING! LOL It's been my experience that people like you know everything about nothing....and NOTHING about everything. What a blowhard!

[slouise217]

There's no way his "confessions" are true. One doesn't get a job that requires a PhD simply because one has a degree - one must also have the schooling that backs up that degree. In addition, the assertions about being banned from multiple theme parks sounds totally bogus. This guy was a practical joker, even when he was dying. Any sane, intelligent person can tell this.

[SLwoman51]

And I suppose you have some proof that you are a sane, intelligent person? Your comments don't reflect that at all.

[SnowWhite24seven]

you know what bugs me every one is quick to judge but who is perfect. yes if took his death to come clean but he did. do we know what good he has done no. i don't know him he probably has money. and not one of us can say what we do in that spot. i wish i had money. where i live every thing closing down every one losing jobs. im not a person who believes most people ! i do on the other hand think if you treat others well even if you dont have much . and do good things life will work out ya every one has bad things happen believe i know . but don't judge others for getting things easy when i haven't or sent i lost alot . cuz if alive or dead as long as my family if happy that is all that matters .

[KSAXT1]

I do not see anything wrong with this guy. In the face of his own demise he still could come off with a great sense of humor. RIP partner.

[55minus5]

Several professors from my second university looked and sounded like they stole/salvaged their credentials from the office shredder/trash can, at it was a respectable state university although not Harvard. I'd say, Yale might be. But hey, we're looking at Utah. Hey, Romney.

[knewsteerrrrr]

Sounds like a real loser

[chrcar111]

Really? Because I think you sound like a real loser. I can assure youm he was anything but a loser.

[hypnotoad72]

Anyone can be, in "the new normal".

[FormerUSMCSergeant]

He had to be some case to get banned from theme parks for life.....

[KnowerseekerReturns]

So, um... is his widow proud of how good a liar he was? And a thief?

[55minus5]

She should be hired by FauxNoose. Does she have powerful hinds and bleached hair? That'd be perfect.

[hypnotoad72]

Sure. Note how our society works and what gets rewarded. More often than not, those without ethics, morals, or scruples end up getting to the top. And if you can market yourself as being the opposite of "unethical", "immoral", etc, and get the sucke... I mean readers... to blindly buy into it, so much the better...