U.S. family in limbo after Russia adoption ban

(CBS News) Two years ago, Kim and Robert Summers decided to adopt from Russia. It took nearly 18 months, but last July, the couple was matched with a 15-month-old boy.

Kim says when she saw his picture for the first time, "I knew that this was the child I was meant to parent ... And I took one look at this little ginger boy, and I fell in love with him."

Kim Summers and the Russian child she and her husband had planned to adopt.

/ Family Photo

The Summers began filling their New Jersey home with baby clothes, a crib and even a stroller. They traveled to his orphanage in Russia twice to bond with him, and they gave him a name: Preston Mackey Summers.

"He's a wonderful young boy who needs love and attention," Robert says.

Like 1,500 other American families, the Summers worry that the law banning Americans from adopting Russian children could prevent them from bringing a child home.

Putin signs bill barring adoptions of Russian children by Americans
Russian parliament votes to ban U.S. adoption
Russia gives initial approval to measure banning Americans from adopting Russian children

The law is widely seen as retaliation for a new American law banning Russians accused of human rights violations from entering the United States.

Robert and Kim Summers.

/ CBS News

The Summers are hoping politics won't stop them from becoming parents. On their last trip to see their child, the Summers told him they would soon take him home.

"I said to him, 'Mommy and Daddy will see you in four weeks, and you're gonna come home with us, and we're gonna be a forever family,'" Kim says.

"Those dreams are sort of shattered," said Robert, weeping. "And I cannot put into words how my wife and I feel right now. ... We ask President Putin, please, consider alternate means, but don't let these children suffer. Please. That's all we ask."

President Vladimir Putin says he signed the ban because he believes Russians should take care of their own children. The U.S. State Department is urging Russia to allow children like Preston who have already met and bonded with their future parents to be allowed to join their American families.

[CoachElaineHall]

I am speechless. In 1996 I adopted my now 18 year old son from an orphanage in Ekaterinburg. Because of his severe special needs, (autism), I was advised to 'put him in an institution ' my reply - "he just came out of an institution - I would never do that! " and others said, "Send him back to Russia." I sternly said, "He's my son." 16 years later, and this challenged child has now grown to be a young man - still nonverbal, still with autism - however he goes to school, presents at conferences, has inspired 2 books and a movie about autism. He even has 2 jobs. His presence in the US has helped thousands of other children with special needs. The thought that he could have been left in Russia - unloved, alone - is heart breaking. There are children in Russia that need families. Russian families always have the first option to adopt over international families. My son would have been left behind because of his severe disability. I wonder if he even would have survived.
I hope and pray that this turns around soon enough to not cause harm to the children and to the families.
Elaine Hall
Author: Now I See the Moon (Harper Collins) Speaker, Founder of The Miracle Project www.themiracleproject.org

[Adoptmom11]

Its amazing all the people here with comments against those who have or want to adopt from Russia. You clearly don't know what you are talking about. The American foster care/adoption process is completely broken. It is difficult to adopt from Russia but worth every bit of trouble. Maybe America can learn from other countries and change some policies so more Americans can adopt American children. I don't see anything changing though, Washington doesn't do much right these days.

[adoptive_mom]

I have been reading many articles and associated comments on this topic the last few days and I want to shed some light on this from the perspective of an adoptive mother. I have seen so many comments that Americans should adopt from America, that it is 'fashionable' to adopt a foreign child, that people adopt internationally because it is 'cheaper', because they only want white children.....the list goes on and it makes me both sad and frustrated. Let me tell you, my husband and I struggled with infertility for many years and ultimately, adoption was our route to realizing our dream of having a family. If you haven't gone through that, I imagine you can not understand the heartbreak and the toll it takes on you mentally, emotionally, even physically. We absolutely looked into adopting from the US first and were told by our (extremely reputable) agency that we should expect a match with a child to fall through AT LEAST once. Add to that, we have personal knowledge of an adoptive child (from America) who was torn from the only parents she ever knew by her biological father when she was two years old. Right or wrong, that was just too much for us to handle emotionally. That is what led us to international adoption, none of the other motives that seem to be the popular opinion on this issue. Adopting from Russia is not easy as some people seem to believe. ...and, quite frankly, it shouldn't be (for any child, in my opinion). It's very expensive, but that had nothing to do with our decision (or the decision of others we know who have adopted there). Our son is a smart, happy, healthy little boy who tells and shows us every day how much he loves his family. Is this always the case with adopted children (internationally or not)? Of course not.....we do consider ourselves to be very lucky. Anyway, I just wanted to throw in my $.02 from a different perspective in hopes that some people might understand there is often more to the story and people's motivations then meets the eye.

[Adoptmom11]

Our situation was the same. Long struggle with infertility only them to discover its next to impossible for s to foot in America. I thank god every day for my 2 Russian babies as they are completely healthy and loving members of our family forever. Most of the comments I have been reading here are clearly by people who have no idea hw the system works in America.

[highlandbird]

I agree with Putin that kids should be raised in their own culture. Additionally, after witnessing my good friend adopt a child from Russia a decade ago, I can attest to the fact that they put their special needs kids up for adoption first. This child was the victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and other horrors. We don't need those kids in the US adding to our overburdened special education budgets. Same goes for Romanian orphans institutionalized and messed up because of it. Let these countries deal with their own special needs kids. Folks that want to adopt should do so locally. Or foster. No one really owns a child, you just have the honor of loving them for 18 years, so who cares it you foster or adopt. Americans are hung up on adoption because they lust after ownership. Consumer society at its worst.

[mtmissy]

My sis-in-law tried adopting in America. They told her that the death of her daughter 2 years earlier (CANCER!!!) was an accidental death and would exclude her from adopting here. So they went to Russia just last month, met the kids and had plans to bring them HOME in February. I am all for adopting kids nationally, but with that kind of "attitude" I fully support her and her family! Those that think badly of her can frankly go to H***

[SUZAMBA]

BTW: I feel other countries should also ban adoptions from the USA.
Our government should find a method that helps those to adopt children within the USA,

[SUZAMBA]

I agree with President Putin. Children should be raised within their own culture. That said. I also realize what an ordeal it is to adopt within the USA. It's a blackmarket really. The prices they charge to adopt is horrible. They make it so difficult for anyone to adopt a child. Yes, we have many children within our own country that need adoption, but thanks to our government, they have made it impossible to accomplish. Sadly, the children of our country suffer.

[barbaram99]

I member reading about a woman putting her Russian child on a plane. dumpping him back on Russia..It was sad..That woman is American. I was a fostor kid growing up. People want to adopt..Yet they perfer out of nation children..Why..Have ye ever wondered why they end up in homes there and not with the parents that birthed them. People want children free of issues..Some are sp needs children..The child will have to be nationised to make him/his a US Citzen.etc

[VA_Jill]

To all who are asking why people aren't "adopting American"......have you tried that recently? It is extremely difficult. First of all, the termination of parental rights, even for kids in foster care, takes forever and it isn't easy to find a child, even in the foster care system, whose parental rights have been terminated. That is the #1 biggest reason! Most single mothers now keep their children rather than surrendering them for adoption, no matter whether they are good mothers or not (and many if not most are). Then often you have to deal with a hitherto absent father who claims he didn't know anything about the child, and he thinks he should have custody.The agencies can refuse you for truly trivial reasons while allowing other families to adopt who end up abusing their kids. Other families may know they are not the right families for children with special needs, which may be all that are available where they live. A lot of people ARE "adopting American" but unless the law is changed there will be a lot of kids stuck in the foster care system with no hope of adoption because their parents or the courts refuse to terminate parental "rights". (The kids have no rights in the courts, not even the right to a loving family).

[LVwidow]

Wow, I did not realize adoption in the states was so difficult. But I have a question regarding your comment: "children with special needs, which may be all that are available where they live" - well, these same people that can travel to Russia for adoption, is it possible they can travel to another state here in the US, with all the resources available on the internet and 50 states that must have a baby or two, is it possible to research here at home? Just asking.

[peacefulperson]

My sister tried to adopt from Brazil, and exactly the same thing happened. AFTER they spent thousands to adopt a little girl, providing special medical care, paying for preschool education, etc., THEN the little girl's mother stepped forward and reclaimed her daughter. I know 5 people this happened to with foreign adoptions. Sometimes all the parents want is for their child to receive treatment for a chronic illness, then they want the child back, and adoption agencies help them sue for the return. My friend Cathie paid $30,000 in adoption fees to China, only to end up being turned down because as a teenager she attempted suicide. There was no refund of her money. Foreign adoptions are as big of nightmares as any American adoption, and then some.

[w_roos]

Probably just as well. Who knows how many of the Russian children adopted up till now are really KGB moles?

[LVwidow]

Children as KGB moles? You are kidding, right?